This Week in the Mercury

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

City Council is Full of 'Tards

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Wed, May 26, 2010 at 10:11 AM


This had to be the creepiest morning on record at City Council. At precisely 9:30 AM, about 10 girls in matching red shirts rose and began chanting in unison. They were the Rose Festival princesses. They told us of the great deals available at Rose Festival sponsor Fred Meyer and of the tasty Rose Festival meal available at Elmer's Restaurants.

When the princesses had finished, the council doors open and in slunk... well.. I don't know what the fuck slunk in. These guys:


The pink one threw trash all over the council chambers while the green ones picked it up. I think it had something to do with the environment? I was kind of distracted by their junk.

My main question is: if homeless people rolled into council wearing neon unitards, would they get more funding, too?

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