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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Savage Love Letter o' the Day: You're All Deputized!

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, May 27, 2010 at 1:43 PM

Five years ago, I met my BF while I was studying abroad. We had two amazing first months before having to start a long-distance relationship. Maybe I should say that he's English and I'm French (hence he's protestant and I'm Catholic—although neither of us is a church-goer), and that we have six years age difference (I'm below 30, he's above 30). Our long-distance relationship has lasted for more than give years, and believe me, it has driven me crazy on many occasions. Our problem is that 3 years ago, I started dating someone else. I was then in a very remote place of the world, missing love and physical contact... It happened and lasted. I thought I should break up with my BF, although I still loved him, so I told him that I had met someone else. He did everything to get me back, and has been amazing in doing that. So we stayed together and then started 3 years of nightmare, long-distance relationship nightmare, where he made me pay a very high price for what I had done. I've been crying almost everyday. Just two months ago, I left France to live with him, despite all the pain between us and his lasting hate towards me. Since I've moved here, he forbids me to have sex with him or even touch him. He doesn't touch me either. I told him that I need physical contact. He replied that he can't because it makes him think about the past ... What to do ? I love him more than anything. I've moved most of my things at his place. But can I keep living in the past with him ? We never make future plans. He avoids all these discussions. He says that as long as he can't get over the past, we can't move on. He doesn't want to go through a therapy. He also says that I'm the most precious thing in his life and that he loves me more than anything. What to do?

Bleeding Heart

I'm on an airplane that's about to take off—so I'm deputizing you, Blogtownies, to talk sense to this woman. It's blazingly obvious to me, you, and everyone else out there reading this that this poor woman is dating an emotionally abusive POS, and she needs to DTMFA, because he's only keeping her around to serve as his emotional punching bag. But somehow she doesn't see it. Open her eyes, Blogtownies.

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