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Friday, May 28, 2010

News From Above—Or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Burnside

Posted by Kiala Kazebee on Fri, May 28, 2010 at 2:04 PM

Look! It is Henrys! Something nefarious could happen here.
  • Look! It is Henry's! Something nefarious could happen here.

Gone fetal worrying about the dearth of condo owning gentrification news in the wake of Matt Davis' vacating Portland? Shaking a fist at the sky and shouting "UNJUST I SAY UNJUST" while popping lorazepams like candy? You are not alone, my friends. I, too, have been in a funk since Matt's departure but I might just have a solution to our depressing predicament.

I have recently moved from San Francisco (yay!) to the suburbs (OMG BOO) and finally downtown to a LEED certified building so smug in its smugness the elevators are powered by EFFING WINDMILLS. The building has 24 floors and I'm on one of the upper tiers. What I am saying is I can actually see your house from here. And I know what you're doing. And stop it because it's really freaking me out.

So, in lieu of leaving the house to do actual reporting (new media is all about aggregation anyway) I've given myself the "gentrification beat." If I can see it from my windows and it's vaguely newsworthy and/or gentrify-y I will know! And I could tell someone about it! Maybe even on Blogtown or the Twitters or at a bar! I am just spit balling here! There are no bad ideas! This is a safe space!

The point is I can see stuff from up here and it might be interesting. Mostly I like looking down on all of Portland. But you knew that already.

 

Comments (14) RSS

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1
Please rewrite the first line.. it's unbearably wordy and pretentious. THANKS.
Posted by Santos on May 28, 2010 at 2:10 PM · Report
2
Who the fuck are you again?
Posted by Chunty McHutchence on May 28, 2010 at 2:14 PM · Report
3
How much is your rent? I imagine it's far less since you are coming in from SF.
Posted by Michelle on May 28, 2010 at 2:19 PM · Report
4
I want to hear about the tiny ant-sized hobos that you can see. Or can you even tell the hobos from the bohos on the street?
Posted by Graham on May 28, 2010 at 2:30 PM · Report
5
"It's" is a contraction of "it is." The possessive requires no apostrophe.
Posted by rev on May 28, 2010 at 2:36 PM · Report
6
When will you start fishing for hobos with dollar bills and cheeseburgers from your lofty perch?
Posted by BlackedOut on May 28, 2010 at 2:44 PM · Report
7
I approve of the idea of this post.
Posted by melissalion on May 28, 2010 at 2:45 PM · Report
8
If you can see what I am doing, prove it by identifying the type of leftovers that I had sex with this morning...
Posted by Beefykins on May 28, 2010 at 2:51 PM · Report
9
People already snarking you. Welcome back, Kiala.
Posted by Blabby on May 28, 2010 at 3:02 PM · Report
10
Thanks Blabby. I kind of missed it.

Sniff.
Posted by kiala on May 28, 2010 at 3:21 PM · Report
11
@santos

That is the POINT. Thanks for getting it!

@michelle

We are paying a thousand dollars less than in SF for about the same size apartment.

@hobo questions

I've befriended about half of them so I'm afraid I'll end up fishing for the wrong ones. They kind of all look the same from up here. YEP. I JUST SAID THAT.
Posted by kiala on May 28, 2010 at 3:27 PM · Report
12
i bet you never have any trouble at the dog parks.
Posted by kreitler on May 28, 2010 at 3:28 PM · Report
13
So long as you construct an elaborate network of telescopes and start wearing kleenex boxes as shoes, I approve of this endeavor.
Posted by atomic on May 28, 2010 at 3:52 PM · Report
14
I am afraid of the skyplex dwellers and cannot bear to read any further.
Posted by The One True b!X on May 28, 2010 at 7:29 PM · Report

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