This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Comedy Today In Comedy
Posted by Andrew R Tonry on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 6:18 PM
A few tidbits:
- Bumbershoot, Sept. 4-6, announced this year's comedic lineup (way down at the bottom of the page). It includes a number of folks you may know from Bridgetown festivals past, including: Patton Oswalt, Greg Behrendt, Nick Thune, Morgan Murphy, Tig Notaro and more. Speaking of Portland's comedy festival, founder Andy Wood is putting together a Bridgetown-themed show for Bumbershoot, although he admits he's not sure exactly who/or what that'll mean at this early stage.
- I just took a quick tour of the space that'll house the Helium comedy club and one thing is clear: they're aiming high. The building—the former Chelsea Ballroom on 9th and SE Hawthorne—is huge. It includes a separate, spacious lounge with its own bar. And if the buildout comes close to meeting the mental picture painted before me, Jesus, it could be one hell of a spot. The club's ownership is nothing if not ambitious. Doors are set to open July 29th.
News Al Gore Sex Watch: Police Re-Open Case
Posted by Stefan Kamph on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 4:56 PM
They're not providing any more details at this time, but it could have something to do with the interview that Hagerty granted the National Enquirer. And she has pants with a (five-year-old) stain on them: evidence at last?
Gore's spokesperson released a statement in response to the new Enquirer article:
The Gores cannot comment on every defamatory, misleading, and inaccurate story generated by tabloids. Mr. Gore unequivocally and emphatically denied this accusation when he first learned of its existence three years ago. He stands by that denial.Kalee Kreider
Gore family spokesperson
The Enquirer says it didn't pay for Hagerty's first story—when she tipped them off about her 2009 testimony to Portland police—but when KOIN TV asked if they paid for today's, they had "no comment."
Build Out Scientology Church Moving in Next to Gay Strip Club
Posted by Sarah Mirk on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 4:29 PM
The Church of Scientology payed $6.4 million to buy the Sherlock Building downtown, with plans to make the historic building their new Portland headquarters.
As Aaron Spencer at the DJC reports, that's hilarious. Right across the street from the church whose founder declared homosexuality to be a "sexual perversion" is all male strip club Silverado (whose website, FYI, makes me nostalgic for 1998).
On the other side of the new Scientology building? Basic Rights Oregon, the advocacy group that fights for LGBT rights in the state. That's going to cause some spikes in the Scientologists' stress tests for sure.
So Scientologists, nude male strippers, the inevitable anti-Scientology protesters and the inevitable pro-gay Basic Rights Oregon protesters. This is going to be the most interesting corner in Portland.
TV Old Spice... You've Done it Again!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 4:14 PM
DAMN YOU, OLD SPICE! Stop amazing me with your hilarious commercials! I already switched back to your underarm deodorant... what else do you want from me???
Oh. The bodywash, too? Hmm.. well. Okay. BUT YOU OWE ME TWO MORE HILARIOUS COMMERCIALS BY CHRISTMAS!!
Advertisement
Sports My First (Half) Marathon
Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 4:00 PM
Guys, I'm freaking out. I agreed to ring in this 4th of July holiday by running 13 miles at 6:30 am on Sauvie Island (why not, right?). I paid $60 and everything. I've been a regular runner for a few years, but until I started training for this I pretty much capped it at 6 miles or so. I haven't exactly followed the recommended training program, so I haven't exactly run a whole 13 miles at once before, but pretty close. Anyhow, I haven't been too worried about it since if I'm not hung over or anything I'm pretty comfortable at the 9- or 10-mile mark, and I figure the adrenaline on race day will just sort of propel me through the rest of it. However, now that the race is coming up quick I am starting to worry that I'm going to totally bite it. In order to minimize said biting, I want to prepare myself for *optimum performance*. I'm a little torn on issues like whether or not to drink coffee, and if so, how much or how far in advance? (I'm not a regular coffee drinker but it seems to help before a moderate-length run—will I crash after more than an hour, though?) What to eat, and when to eat it? Toast with peanut butter? Anything less obvious? I'm pretty sure they have "hydration stations" where you can pick up those weird gels and stuff, which I've never tried (do they have gelatin in them?? Do they work?), but is there any other magical equipment I should bring to help myself out? Am I just fucked? (I don't want to walk any of it.)
Oh and if you're wondering, I'm not doing the full marathon because it scrapes off your nipples and gives you the trots.* No, seriously. This is the t-shirt of someone who has just run one:
*Actually you can still totally get the trots with a half marathon, but let's not ponder that.
UPDATE: I did it! Actually I'm embarrassed that I didn't push myself harder. I ended up eating one piece of white toast w/Earth Balance, two bananas, and a cup of coffee beforehand. And I took Immodium just in case. Heh. I hit the goo at something like mile 11. It was gross. Don't know if it had time to work before I finished, but the point is that I finished, without walking any part of it. Now that I know how attainable it is (my knees are the only ones filing a complaint) I want to try again and go faster. Seattle half marathon in October, anyone?
Comic Books Scott Pilgrim Midnight Release Party
Posted by Alison Hallett on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 3:46 PM
I realize that to the non-nerd there is little difference between a midnight comic book release party and this, but I think it's pretty exciting that Floating World is hosting a party to celebrate the release of Scott Pilgrim #6.
On July 19 at midnight, Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour will go on sale at Floating World—they'll also be screening episodes of the Edgar Wright-directed Spaced, which is great, and SP publisher Oni Press will have merch and prizes on hand, which is also great. (I recommend this poster, my wall has no complaints.) If you haven't read the Scott Pilgrim books, you should! Don't let the hype put you off. You'll probably like 'em. My review of the last book is here, for some background.
Events / Music Tonight in Musical Niceties
Posted by Courtney Ferguson on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 3:29 PM
Alberta Rose Theatre—Gil Scott-Heron Covers: Meshell Ndegeocello, Stephanie Schneiderman, 8:30 pm, $25
The Artistery—Lemuria, Broadway Calls, Neptune Skyline, 7:30 pm, $6, all ages
Berbati's Pan—Abstract Rude, Musab, Toki Wright, My-G, 9 pm, $8-10, all ages
Berbati's Restaurant—Pinehurst Kids, Minnow, 9 pm, free
Goodfoot—Stag Bitten, Lickity, 9 pm
Holocene—Rebecca Gates & The Consortium, The Golden Bears, 8:30 pm, $8
OMSI—OMSI After Dark: DJ Dmoe Funk, 7 pm, $10
Satyricon—Defiance Ohio, Foot Ox, The Department of Motor Vehicles, 8 pm, all ages
Tiga—Matthew Yake, 9 pm, free
Main St. (Between SW Broadway & Park)—Pancake Breakfast, 5 pm, free, all ages
- Pancake Breakfast
More listings here.
Food Burgers on the 4th for a Good Cause
Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 3:09 PM
This Sunday the Portland Farmers Market King Market [NE 7th and Wygant] will be grilling up some killer burgers with ingredients donated by select vendors. Buy one for $5 and 100% of the proceeds will go to support Foodshare Fund Northeast.
If you don’t know about Foodshare Fund Northeast, it’s a program that provides matching funds for people using their Oregon Trail Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program cards to purchase food from the market. The fund matches tokens $1 for $1 up to $20. That means someone who is on federal food assistance can get $40 of local produce and protein for $20, allowing budgets to stretch much further. Good for people, good for farmers. A local non-profit funds the program which has seen demand increase at the King Market from $234 per Sunday last year to $896 per Sunday in 2010.
So take time to stop by and do your patriotic duty by helping a fellow American less fortunate than yourself.
$$$ PHART CHART TOPPER!
Posted by Scrappers on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 2:07 PM
This week's PHART CHART TOPPER is smelljamesluce! Congrats, and look! We've animated it for you!
Will you be the next Phart Chart Topper? Submit your art or photos to the Mercury's Flickr group, and start PHART-ing today!!
Advertisement
News / Schools What Would You Do to Save Gym Class?
Posted by Stefan Kamph on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 1:59 PM
Personally, I hated gym class with a fiery passion. The smelly shorts, the weird gym-floor grit that collected on your hands as you crabwalked or what-have-you to suit the sadistic teacher's whims, the occasional tide of relief that came with a session with The Parachute only to discover that you're going to have to "grab a pinnie" and do laps on the muddy field.
But still... I think our society would be a lot happier and more peaceful if everybody exercised. That's why I agree with Anna Griffin at the Oregonian, who says that gym class is a terrible thing to lose. She's responding to a recent announcement by Portland Public Schools that it may have to cut PE teaching positions to save money in the face of Governor Ted Kulongoski's 10% across-the-board budget cuts.
Some parents, health care organizations and corporations have launched an (expensive?) marketing campaign to encourage the school district to tap into $33 million of reserve funds rather than slash PE.
But, asks Griffin,
What about the year after that? Heck, what about the decade after that? Even if school board members opt to preserve PE and cut elsewhere, the broader dilemma remains: Trusting state leaders to solve our financial problems and the current state tax structure to adequately fund public services is like building a sand castle at the beach. Plan big. Work hard. And know that eventually, the tide will come along and erase all your hard work.
So: higher taxes? Or fatter kids? The school board met last night to talk about the budget situation—it looks like PE teacher cuts (among other options) are still on the table, although classroom teachers would be expected to lead students in "physical activities."
Film Harry Potter and Edward Cullen Fight to the Death...Sort Of.
Posted by Sarah Hardy on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 1:29 PM
Just in case any of you needed help figuring it out - Harry Potter is better than Twilight. It’s official.
Entertainment Weekly, in a “once and for all” death match between heroic wizards and sparkly, celibate vampires, declared J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter the winner over Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight.
Unfortunately, this declaration still won’t stop the hordes of “die-hard twi-hards” flocking to theaters this week, though.
EW points out that although there is a large preteen market for Team Edward and Team Jacob shirts, the Harry Potter franchise has out-grossed the Twilight series in both film and print. The Potter films have grossed almost $1 billion so far out of the six movies, with more sure to come for the two installments of the seventh and final film next year.
Also in its favor, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, for example, hasn’t garnered a single reader review less than four stars on Amazon. The Twilight books have not fared as well with critics.
The third movie in the Twilight franchise, Eclipse premiered today with resoundingly
negative reviews, lamenting the poor acting and dialogue “stolen from a sixth-grader’s diary.” The current rating on Rotten Tomatoes is 50%.
Consensus: Stuffed with characters and overly reliant on uninspired dialogue, Eclipse won't win The Twilight Saga many new converts, despite an improved blend of romance and action fantasy.
Maybe I just have a grudge against Twilight because I read the first book directly after rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last summer. It might have not been as bad had I read it after say, Gossip Girl or something.
Actually, that’s pretty insulting to Gossip Girl.
Food / Music Spunky Monkey Offers Free Coffee to Local Musicians...
Posted by Alison Hallett on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 1:19 PM
... who bring a copy of one of their albums to the store.
Spunky Monkey has been open for several months now, in the now-purple building on NE 20th & Couch that used to house Ruby's, but it took me a while to actually check it out because the name is just so freaking terrible. But the service at the neighborhood coffeeshop I used to frequently recently became intolerable (Dear barista: Your "cleanse" is actually not a legitimate explanation for why you are taking so fucking long making my coffee. Sincerely, Alison), driving me into the weird sex monkey coffeeshop, and it's actually a really great little place. Good coffee (they roast their own), thoughtful sandwich options (a veggie sandwich with pickled beans!), waffles, creative bagel-topping options (fig butter. Is good. Plus, their breakfast bagel w/Morningstar sausage, cheese, and pepper sauce is like the Platonic ideal of a veggie bagel sandwich), housemade kombucha, basically all kinds of well-done hippie options that have gradually eroded my initial association of semen-spattered primates. And of course the music thing is a win-win.
Puppy While I'm Not Exactly a Fan of Pugs...
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 1:11 PM
Green After 10 Year Decline, Oregon Using More Gas
Posted by Sarah Mirk on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 12:29 PM
The uptick is small in Oregon, less than one percent, but surprising given that we're in the middle of the Great Recession and all. Gasoline buying habits usually mirror the economy: When jobs plummet, so does gas buying. But in the Northwest, the price of gas has dropped significantly since it spiked in 2008. I remember driving across the country in June 2008, when gas stations were raising the price of gas multiple times a day, peaking at nearly $4 a gallon. Despite the Gulf
The good news? We're still using about nine percent less gas than the rest of this car-lovin' country. Whoo! Way to set the bar low, America!
Advertisement
Horrors / Books / Cats / Film Behold the Horror of the Twihards' Tent City...
Posted by Erik Henriksen on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 12:13 PM
... as seen last night at Bridgeport Village.
- Photo via Mike Russell of CulturePulp.
It's worth noting that this is only a small sampling of the army of Tweens and Twilight Moms that were there—this line, and others like it, stretched out at least this far in the opposite direction. From deeper in the labyrinthine corridors of the mall, one could hear evidence of countless more Twihards, their noise a vuvuzela-like drone of SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEs. And sobs. Lonely, lonely sobs.
SEX Sex Tips For People Who Don't Have Sex
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 11:59 AM
Fox News has a sexpert. And she has a few falafel-free suggestions for amping up the ol' love life. First up: go to Santa Fe and look at the Georgia O'Keefe paintings at the O'Keeffe Gallery.
When schools decide where to take kids, they choose places that will broaden their horizons without having to take them too far from home. So it only makes sense that "grown-up" field trips would do the same. Where should you go? Anywhere that stirs your mind and your sexier side. That means places that engage the senses and the mind. Even if you can't just hop on a jet plane and travel the world, you can still get inspired by all the exciting places the world has to offer.The sumptuous paintings and sculptures of Georgia O'Keefe at the O'Keefe Gallery in Santa Fe or at any number of other museums are a reminder of how sexy it can be to go to an art museum with your partner and revel in the rich hues and sensual shapes. Admiring her often erotic work (are those flowers or...) will likely leave you hankering to get a look at your own private model when you get back home to your "studio."
I wonder if Fox's sexpert is aware of the strong correlation between owning framed O'Keeffe prints and lesbian bed death.
City Hall Sit Lie: The T-Shirt
Posted by Sarah Mirk on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 11:44 AM
This guy Joe Walsh, a Vietnam veteran, has been at city council every week for the last month protesting the city's new "sidewalk management plan" which Walsh and 568 people on Facebook think is just an unconstitutional rehash of the old Sit/Lie ordinance.
Here's the thing about Walsh: Every week he's shown up in a different, homemade anti-Sit Lie shirt. Last week's had stick-on letters reading "Sit Lie Shame" and this week's is a stencil. "I'm trying to assemble a whole wardrobe," he jokes.
Food / Video I Am Armed
Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 11:24 AM
First of all, I'd like everyone to know that I am able to defend myself, and you better not get any ideas from the following trailer for Bitter Feast.
Second of all... Wait, that's fucking Mario Batali! Acting! Bwahhahahahahhahahhahaaha... Oh, Lord. What was I saying?
[via]
Geek / Tech New Superhero Alert: Spider-Nerd
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 10:13 AM
13-year-old Hibiki Kono of England has invented a Spider-Man style wall-crawling device that uses vacuum cleaners on his hands. Say his jealous classmates, "Hibiki, please come down, so we can beat your ass."
Advertisement
Homo / News Doctor Treating Pregnant Women With Experimental Drug To Prevent Lesbianism
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 9:43 AM
That's not fair, as Hanna Rosin at Slate will shortly point out. Pediatric endocrinologist Maria New—of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine and Florida International University—isn't just trying to prevent lesbianism by treating pregnant women with an experimental hormone. She's also trying to prevent the births of girls who display an "abnormal" disinterest in babies, don't want to play with girls' toys or become mothers, and whose "career preferences" are deemed to "masculine." Unbelievable:
The majority of researchers and clinicians interested in the use of prenatal “dex” focus on preventing development of ambiguous genitalia in girls with CAH. CAH results in an excess of androgens prenatally, and this can lead to a “masculinizing” of a female fetus’s genitals. One group of researchers, however, seems to be suggesting that prenatal dex also might prevent affected girls from turning out to be homosexual or bisexual.
Much more after the jump...
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 9:23 AM
Hurricane Alex is slowly moving toward northeast Mexico and Texas. However...
While 12-foot waves are great for surfing... not so great for oil clean up.
Let's check in to see how Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan's job interview is going.
Speaking of future employment, Larry King is finally retiring, and CNN is looking for a replacement. (Those are some mighty big suspenders and glasses to fill!)
An alleged Russian spy has been caught by the FBI, and guys... SHE'S HOT!
Today in BOOOOOOO!!!: The Wisconsin Supreme Court upholds the state's ban on gay marriage.
The Kyron Horman case is growing increasingly icky as law enforcement casts a suspicious eye on his stepmother.
In Salem, an 81-year-old man was arrested after chasing someone around a taco stand wielding a machete! (Cue the Benny Hill Yakkety Sax music!)
In sports, SPOILER ALERT! One of the biggest names in tennis was defeated at Wimbledon by a 12-seeded Czech.
The president of Nigeria has suspended his country's soccer team because they sucked so bad at the World Cup!
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Business as usual today, cloudy tomorrow, and 75 and dry for the 4th of July!
And finally, if you live in Arizona you should totally vote for Republican Christian Pamela Gorman for Congress! She's cute, hates taxes, and WILL KILL ANYONE WHO CROSSES HER WITH GUNS.
News / SEX Gore Sex Accuser's Name Released
Posted by Stefan Kamph on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 8:52 AM
- You're welcome.
She's come forward with the stained clothing she mentioned at the end of the original police report, and tells the Enquirer, "He's a sick man... I want justice served!"
Hagerty is "demanding a full investigation." It will take some really good evidence—like conclusive DNA stains on those pants in the Ziploc baggie—to open the twice-dead case again.
Timbers Timbers vs. Sounders. AKA Good vs. Evil. Tonight.
Posted by Brian Costello on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 8:30 AM
- Allison Andrews
- I must break you.
People! PEOPLE! This is a big one.
This is USA vs. CCCP.
Hatfield's vs. McCoy's.
Brooks vs. Sumner.
Fire vs. Ice.
Ali vs. Foreman.
Cat vs. Dog.
Up vs. Down.
Swearengen vs. Hearst.
Spy vs. Spy.
Henry V vs. Charles d'Albret.
Simon vs. Garfunkel.
Nixon vs. Frost.
Kramer vs. Kramer.
Luke vs. Vader.
Oil vs. Water.
Candy vs. Ass.
This is Portland Timbers vs. Seattle Sounders in the third round of the U.S. Open Cup. I could tell you that today is the first day in two and a half weeks without a World Cup game on T.V. and so you should go to feed that soccer withdrawl. I could tell you that the Timbers have been playing some great soccer of late winning their last three games (two U.S. Open Cup and one league match) and that though Seattle are defending Open Cup Champions, their 2010 regular season campaign has, to date, been a slog of disappointment.
I could also tell you that this is the premier rivalry in North American soccer with over thirty five years of history and that PGE Park will be packed to the rafters with an unbelievably lively environment.
Or I could just say:
Portland Timbers vs. Seattle Sounders.
Tonight.
PGE Park.
7:30 p.m. (gates open at 6:00 p.m.)
Tickets start at $15 in advance.
Game also on the telly on FSN, on the radios on 95.5 The Game with Spanish language broadcast on 910AM+1390AM ESPN Deportes, and the internets.
For an excellent and much less-hyperbolic preview, check out the great Kip Kesgard's summation here.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Bikes Cyclist Hit on SE Ladds—Sent to Hospital
Posted by Sarah Mirk on Tue, Jun 29, 2010 at 5:55 PM
Reporter Amanda Waldroupe is on the scene in Ladds Addition where a serious bike crash occurred about an hour ago just north of Ladds Circle, according to police officers who responded to the incident. The cyclist involved is not identified and was injured enough to go to the hospital.
SE Ladds is a major bike route through SE Portland. It's especially scary to hear about a bad crash on that street because it's usually very quiet and safe.
There were no witnesses to the crash, but the scene is pretty hectic right now, says Waldroupe. "Neighbors are coming out of their houses, talking about what they saw. There's tons of bicyclists stopping by. The bike is off to the side of the road, the person's pannier is on the ground with some clothes thrown about." She says three police cars are on the scene and they are interviewing the driver in the crash.
BikePortland has this photo via Robby Russell:
Let's hope for a safe recovery.
Update 10:48 AM: An update from BikePortland quotes Portland Police Bureau spokeswoman Mary Wheat saying the crash happened after the cyclist tried to pass other riders. "The man riding the bike attempted to pass other bicyclists and his handlebars began shaking. He veered into a car and was hit by the car."
Women In Prison This is Why Blogtown is Not a Video Blog
Posted by Andrew "the Intern" Michaan on Tue, Jun 29, 2010 at 4:51 PM
If you somehow make it through the entire 2:23 of this mesmerizing video you will want to close your computer, go outside, and hope that you never have to hear people say anything into a camera ever again. Seriously, who actually watches little-girl-video-blogs on a regular basis? Don't they just talk about really boring stuff?
| Most Popular | I, Anonymous | Best of the Merc |
|---|---|---|
| ||
Most Commented on Blogtown, PDX
-
City's "Overnight Sleeping" Program Finds First Host—and Neighbors React in Ugly Fashion by Denis C. Theriault
-
Oh, Did You Think The Great Gatsby Movie Was Going to Be Good? by Alison Hallett
-
Feds Dish Out $745.2 Million to the Light Rail by Alex Zielinski
-
Happy World Goth Day! by Marjorie Skinner
-
Game of Thrones Recap: Calm Before the Storm Edition by Joe Streckert
-
Good Morning, News! by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
-
Portland Button Works Opens on Killingsworth by Alison Hallett
-
Ye Olde Underground Loo by Alex Zielinski
-
We're Number One! by Alex Zielinski
-
Weekend Eatings: Corazón and The Slide Inn by Marjorie Skinner
Our Friends
- UrbanHonking
- Culture Shock
- Portland Roundball Society
- Steph Cassano
- Cort and Fatboy
- Street Roots
- Powell's Books Blog
- Portland Transport
- Portland Afoot
- Bike Portland
- Eater: PDX
- Portland Food and Drink
- Mr. Movie
- Sunday Softball
- BlueOregon
- Sightline Institute
- Ultra: Arts Portland
- Bitch Magazine
- Blazer's Edge
- Reading Local: Portland
- Portland Food Carts
- Stumptown Vegans
Our Enemies
RSSGoing to Seattle?
