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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Today's "Failed Column" of the Day!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Jun 1, 2010 at 6:08 PM

All week long, the Mercury is celebrating 10 years of failed columns (that space on the One Day at a Time page where we try every week to obtain a column that will generate the same popularity as Night Cabbie, but for whatever reason fails every time). Today we look at a classic from August 12, 2004 entitled "Stuff for Your Muff by Hilary Duff." I can't remember exactly why this one failed... I seem to remember there being some lawsuit attached, though. WHATEVER! I'm sure if we keep trying, we'll be successful one day. Right? Right? Right.

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1
Dear Billy-Steve; (and btw, fuck you and your pretentious Wm. Steven bullshit)

How-about this failed because there are actually a few grown-ups who read this rag.

I hesitate to call this sophomoric humor, because A: it's profoundly un-funny, and B: even as a high-school sophomore I would be embarrassed to have my name attached to this POS.

Believe it or not, most adults have outgrown the fascination with genital humor. (even when they are funny).

I begin to believe that Matt left town not because of hipsters, insularity, or boredom, but because you come across as one of the most self-indulgent, juvenile, and retarded ass-hats on the planet.

Night Cabbie worked because she was real. I, Anonymous works for the same reason. Ditto Matt Davis.

The multiple ODAT attempts fail because they sound like they are written by a not particularly bright 12-year-old.

So please, Billy-Steve, either grow the fuck up, or STFU.
Posted by rabblevox on June 2, 2010 at 9:24 AM · Report
2
So you're not here for the lulz?
Posted by NIG GER on June 2, 2010 at 10:04 AM · Report

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