Happy 15th Birthday, Portland Mercury! A Note from Editor in Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey
Ahoy Gleeks! First things first: I am passing on this press release from Andy Mangels about scheduled Glee Nights at Julia's Cafe in NE without comment.
The evening will include video clips and singalongs from the hit Fox GLEE show, RARE video footage, *FREE prizes*, and special performances that may include members of Portland's Imperial Sovereign Rose Court, Youth Court, SMYRC, and youth performers from real local high schools and Glee clubs! And *YOU* can even get up and do GLEE karaoke or a dance performance if you wanna let your light shine!
Week 1 (June 6) co-hosted by current Miss Sweetheart Jersey Scities and Andy Mangels
Week 2 (June 13) co-hosted by Miss Gay Oregon XXXV Terrika St. James and Andy Mangels
Week 3 on (June 20-forward) co-hosted by current Miss Gay Pride Vivica Valentine and Andy Mangels
It's 7pm-11pm each Sunday. You have been notified/warned.
Now let's talk about this week's episode!
There were a lot of balls in the air this week and I'm going to try and touch on each of them as thoroughly (and tenderly) as I can. Like the ball that is Terri. It seems weird the amount of depth Glee has given Will's now ex-wife considering that they also seem intent on making her pretty hateable. I think it speaks to how awesome Jessalyn Gilsig is that, even when spouting off terrible things, she imbues Terri with a soul that muddies up the caricature she should be. This week we got to see her at Linens 'n' Things (plus the always-welcome Howard). When Sandy the molest-y teacher came into the picture demanding the right shade of pink, cat-shaped toilet-brush holder I got really excited. Throw Ken Tenaka back into the mix and you've got Acafellas again!
But I'm getting away from myself. Mean ol' Terri is back and I'm still not sure how much we're supposed to sympathize with her (tangent: the same thing is true of Sarah Polley's character in Splice which I got to see last night. Any Glee fan want to see it and have a long discussion with me about sexism and motherhood in media? Anyone?) Now Terri's got her eyes on Finn, who, we've been told time and again, is just like a young Will Schuester. Why do I get the feeling Glee likes starting complicated storylines way more than it likes resolving them? We just now see Terri's divorce finish, but where the fuck is Emma? Where is that handicapped football player Rachel was going to teach? What about Artie's desire to dance? I can't keep track of everything that's supposed to be happening!
It doesn't help clarity when a character like Jesse disappears for a whole episode only to reappear telling New Directions that they've been mean to him and he's pulling out. Weren't Finn and Puck mad at Rachel about him or something? Isn't Rachel still dealing with mommy-issues? Whatever, I'm thinking too hard about this. Jesse the lovable diva is gone and Jesse the jerko is back and this time he and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline are putting the souls of chicken fetuses on Rachel's conscience. Goes to show what a school can do when their mascot is a shark eating a baby seal.
The heating up of the Adrenaline/Directions rivalry causes Finn and Puck to reunite as the goofiest tag-team ever. I love how they have matching leather jackets (for prankin') and Member's Only jackets (for funkin'). Which was sillier: their take on "Good Vibrations" or "Loser"? "Good Vibrations" had Mercedes lending it a little cred, but it also had lots of anti-drug messages and that ever-present keytar. "Loser" was more earnest, but hearing Finn say things like "plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables / dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose" was just... weird.
Bringing the funk better was Quinn, whose all-pregnant review of "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" was fucking awesome. I worry about all those pregnant teens are skipping school to perform for Quinn's Glee Club, though. Those babies need mothers who are high school grads, ladies!
Lastly, I guess I should talk about the Sue Sylvester/Will Schuester stuff going on this week but I really don't want to. I'd rather just rinse it from my brain. I enjoyed getting a look at Sue's home life. For better or worse her character is becoming less like Gargamel on The Smurfs and more like an actual (crazy) person. I can't be alone in finding even the suggestion of any sexual chemistry between Will and Sue pretty gross. Watching Will's gyrating Chaka Khan routine was like rubbernecking on the highway. Then we get Sue describing ladybits moistening and Will saying that Wednesday is "humpday" and it's all just too much. Good for Will for discovering that lowering himself to her level is counterproductive, but... yecchk.
Stray notes and quotes
Linens 'n' Things looked way less soul-crushing than a lot of jobs I've had.
Where is Ken Tenaka? I must be the only Glee fan who cares.
Sue's a pretty good artist. Enjoyed her Will-otine drawing.
She also gets placenta masks and has millions of trophies. Did anyone catch what they were for? I saw karate, tennis, bowling...
Quinn and Mercedes are new roomies! Everyone move in with everyone!
Why do I get the feeling Vocal Adrenaline would knock that Parliament number out of the park? They're way better dancers than our kids, let's be honest.
"Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent."
"Thinking 'trust me' was a sensible birth control option."
"That young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States: Abraham Lincoln."
"I want him to be eaten by a lion!"
"That guy who gave me Bell's Palsy is back again today."
"How'ma s'posed to shop without my Kenny G?!"
"Dear journal, something strange happened to me today: I felt something below the neck."
"Even your breath stinks of mediocrity."