Well, not exactly illegal, but definitely close. Yesterday while I was shopping for kombucha doing research for the Mercury at New Seasons, I noticed that all of the shelves normally stocked with the highly addictive fermented tea were empty. In their place was this small yellow sign:

I guess that answers the question of why kombucha is so addictive (HINT: ALCOHOL). When I left New Seasons, I was slightly concerned that I wouldn't be able to get my fix of rotten tea for the day, but after mulling it over in my head I figured that it was probably just New Seasons' distributor and surely a place like Whole Foods would have a different distributor, right? WRONG:

I'm not saying I "saw a kombucha riot at Whole Foods" or anything, but there were at least four or five people who I saw walk up to the refrigerator and look slightly confused (and a little sad). Let's just say I almost saw a kombucha riot at Whole Foods.

After checking the internet to see if this whole kombucha ban wasn't just some crazy nightmare that I had invented in my head in order to make myself upset, I confirmed that the ban is indeed real and it is nationwide. Through some strange act of unconscious prescient initiative on my part, I bought three kombuchas earlier this week and I still have one left in the fridge at the Mercury offices. I'll start the bidding at $100. Any takers?