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<i>The Night Before</i>'s Three Wise Men


The Night Before's Three Wise Men

Wait, That Should Read "Three Dumbasses"

Thursday, July 1, 2010

More Foodie Sex Code

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Thu, Jul 1, 2010 at 11:25 AM

One of my favorite things to write in this week's Mercury Food Issue was the foodie sex code. The premise is that you can learn about how a person will be between the sheets based on the restaurant they choose in various situations. It's a complete load of bullshit, of course (or is it?), but it's an entertaining intellectual exercise non-the-less.

Try it out for yourself. Next time you're out to eat with a friend or a lover, look around you, take a gander at the menu, and ask yourself, “What would it be like if all of this were translated into a sexual experience?”

Lets say, for example, you're eating at the Montage around 3 am. The Foodie Sex Code would go something like this:

She suggests: A late night plate of Green Eggs and Spam at the Montage

In bed: The sex may be a little loud and a little rough, but what other kind of booty call are you going to scare up at this time of night? Besides when you're as loaded as you both surely are, anything is going to be pleasant. After all, sometimes lowering your standards (and your inhibitions) will lead you into realms of pleasure you didn't know you were actually into. Just mind those bruises in the morning.

…Or something like that.

Why not give it a try in the comments below, Blogtownies? I'd love to read what you come up with.

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