According to the O, the step-mom in the Kyron Hormon disappearance case at one time hired a landscaper to kill her husband. Jesus Christ, people! Landscapers till, they don't kill.

An Iowa Fourth of July parade turns deadly when runaway horses trample 24 onlookers, killing one. Horses + fireworks + large crowds of people = BAD IDEA.

Party fireworks blow off the arm of a New York man. Fireworks + party + guys = BAD IDEA.

The northeast United States is complaining about a heat wave. Anytime you want to trade, guys!

Dear BP: Here's the latest bill for your gulf coast fuck up. ("Well, we are a very rich company, so I'm sure we can handle iiiiiiiiiiii... THREE BILLION DOLLARS?!?")

Japanese eating champion Takeru Kobayashi was arrested after scuffling with police during a Fourth of July hot dog eating competition. And he did it with RELISH. (God, I hate myself.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: 72 by this afternoon, and the heat wave we deserve by mid-week!

And finally, though we'll only be blogging sporadically today, it's only because we're out looking for POOCHARE! The most tubular and awesome dog food in the universe!