This Week in the Mercury

Neal Stephenson's New Space Epic

Books

Neal Stephenson's New Space Epic

Seveneves Is His Most Accessible Book to Date


Up & Coming

Music

Up & Coming

This Week's Music Previews



Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jul 7, 2010 at 9:39 AM

The United States and Russia may agree to swap imprisoned spies—although if they're incompetent enough to get caught, do we really want them back?

Today in "whoops": In a deadly miscommunication, a NATO airstrike accidentally kills at least five Afghan troops. Again, whoops.

The Obama administration asks a hillbilly court in Louisiana to reinstate the six-month ban on deep-water drilling, because... JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE! C'MON!!

The scientists involved in "Climategate" have been cleared of charges that they fudge details in reports about global warming. Says a polar bear on a disintegrating ice flow, "Yeah, I could've told you that."

It's gonna be hot today, but trust me—it's hotter over there.

It's time again for Spain's annual "Running of the Bulls" (which is like the World Cup of Goring).

As reported yesterday, Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in jail for avoiding her alcohol education classes—but it gets better! Apparently she had the words "fuck u" manicured on her nails during the trial. Guys, she has nothing but respect for this court.

lohan.jpg

According to People magazine, Tipper Gore believes her husband Al did not assault that Portland masseuse. No word yet on whether she thinks he's a "crazed sex poodle."

The landscaper in the increasingly icky Kyron Horman case wore a wire to trick the step-mother into confessing that she had hired him to kill her husband. WOW. It's like Wisteria Lane up there!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: HOT! But look for it to cool down to the mid-80s by the weekend.

And finally, your immature headline of the day.

gay_succumbs_to_dix.jpg

Comments (5)

Showing 1-5 of 5

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-5 of 5

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy