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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

LeBron James Would Like an Hour of Your Time

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Wed, Jul 7, 2010 at 7:57 AM


Huh, turns out that the guy known as "King James" thinks quite highly of himself. Who knew?

LeBron James, the NBA's best athlete and the only man who can make Kobe Bryant appear likable and grounded, has held the league's free agency courting period hostage over the past week, staging highly publicized meetings with a select group of teams (New Jersey, New York, the Los Angeles Clippers, Chicago, Miami, and his current team, Cleveland). Now it's time for James to make his decision—I'd like to think he uses a Cootie Catcher to pick the team for him—and he is doing it in a humble and personal manner. Naw, just kidding, he's taking over ESPN for a special one hour (!) televised broadcast.

Set to air tomorrow at 6pm, James will somehow stretch the act of saying a team's name into an hour long spectacle. Personally, I'm hoping he goes the variety show route, complete with an opening monologue about pop culture ("What is up with that Octomom, right?"), soft-shoe dancing, and special celebrity guest Martin Mull. Or, maybe he uses his hour of global television to threaten the world with a doomsday device that is currently aimed at a major city?

Regardless, an hour is a lot of time to waste on James, so let us know if you have any suggestions for a drinking game (Every time he mentions the Miami Heat, Mojitos for everyone!) to pass the time. Sadly I feel obligated to watch this, since it's not every night you get to see an athlete raise the narcissism bar to such heroic new heights. Good luck, LeBron!


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