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Monday, July 12, 2010

SEX / TV Blood Bone-Nation: 9 Crimes

Posted by Dave Bow on Mon, Jul 12, 2010 at 9:55 AM

Alright fangers, you know what to do. Let's go behind this jump so we can talk about True Blood. It's been two long weeks!

Suhkie!
  • "Suhkie!"

Sort of a transitional episode this week, getting us from Point A to wherever the fuck we're going. I'll do my best to touch on everything but you guys fill in the blanks I miss.

First and foremost: things are looking bad for Bill. Poor guy is stuck "procuring" for Russell the Vampire King of Mississippi and he had to break it off with Sookie. On top of that, he's now being framed by Eric as a V-selling kingpin. It's been interesting seeing Bill sort of embrace the darkness. So much of True Blood has been him being vampire straight-edge that watching the way he relishes eating strippers and having 180-head-sex (and then hating himself for it) really deepens his character. Deepens him more than Eric? You decide.

Despite his cold-ass phone call, Sookie's still coming to save Bill, but first she's gotta dress up like an extra from Torque. Nice butterfly back-tat, Sook. The beauty-by-Janice disguise worked, though, because Ms. Stackhouse was accepted without question at the werewolf pack initiation. And what's this fuckery? Russell is supplying V himself? This shit goes straight to the top, y'all! Side note: say what you will about Fangtasia, but the vampires have the werewolves outclassed and out-sexied, no contest. Not feeling the whole leather daddies and love-blast mamas trip.

Sookie's brother, Jason, was privy to a different kind of initiation as he watched Bud retirement ceremony at Merlotte's. It was the perfect occasion for Jason to use Andy covering up for him to blackmail... Andy. Wait, what? I mean, I get it, but still... Clearly the logic is beside the point. This is just the fast-track to seeing Jason as a cop, which should be pretty hilarious no matter how we get there. I hope so, at least. I am a little bored with Eggs and the guilt his death left behind. It just can't compete with all the other storylines running through this show.

Well, maybe with Sam's. The continuing trials of them Merlotte boys still feels worlds away from the real action of the episode. White trash shapeshifters are neat, but is anyone excited about where this is going? I actually like Sam as a character, but now that he's clearly not in the running for Sookie's affection (get in line, buddy) he feels a little superfluous.

I guess he could chase after Tara again but, honestly, who gives a shit? Getting a bouquet duct taped to her hands by an obsessive vampire does not even count as a low in her miserable life. She and Sam should really just hop on a boxcar to somewhere cuz Bon Temps does not have their best interest at heart.

Lastly, Jessica got a job through the Merlotte's Troubled & Beautiful Waitress Program which leads to a run-in with Chip from Bible Study. Something tells me we haven't heard the last from him, even if Jessica glamored the fuck outta him. What about that trucker she bit, though? Is he walking around somewhere?

Stray notes and quotes
I'm glad the whole Bill-cheating-on-Sookie thing wasn't dragged out into a secret that took weeks to come to light. Many other shows would have gone that route but it's very like True Blood to get it out of the way before the intro credits.
Felt a little sorry for Lorena this episode. I am also pretty sure I might have dated her.
Eric can fly maybe? And he smells like the ocean in winter? Whatta man!
Who else thought quarterback Kitsch Maynard looked like Edward Cullen?
Poor Hoyt.
Poor Terry.
Shakespeare stole spoons.
Hello Destiny/Camilla/Anne! I'm sorry to see you get devoured so soon.
Silliest note I took this episode: Tara's vampire boyfriend misses persimmons.
"I don't have a nutsack."
"Well, I guess the only way to get a promotion in this town is to drink like a fish, hallucinate farm animals and kill a black man."
"Let's go, RuPaul."
"We faggered since you hung up yer hat fer good it's time you put on yer new dancin' shoes!"

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