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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Bieber Fever / Film Here's That Bloody Funnel You Ordered!

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Wed, Jul 14, 2010 at 3:28 PM

EXHIBIT A: ONE (1) BLOODY FUNNEL.
  • EXHIBIT A: ONE (1) BLOODY FUNNEL.

Whoa, whoa—I know what you're thinking. But don't worry. Despite the disturbing image above, rest assured that this post is in no way, shape, or form related to Patrick Alan Coleman's fucked-up fetishes.

Rather, this is some piece of vague movie marketing/promotion. I'm too lazy to figure out what movie it's trying to sell, so I'm turning it over to you, you princes of Maine you kings of New England you sleuths of Blogtown. Want to help me solve this sure-to-be disappointing mystery? Hit the jump for more details and photos, Columbo!

I get great/stupid promotional items sent to me by studios all the time, such as my Beowulf fake-fur blanket, my fake Indiana Jones bullwhip, my short-lived There Will Be Blood milkshake, and Olive's Fantastic Mr. Fox necktie. Today I got the latest bit of promojunk, which, rather than being branded with various logos, is instead purposefully vague. Here are the photos/viral marketing clues:

EXHIBIT B: THEY MISSPELLED MY NAME.
  • EXHIBIT B: THEY MISSPELLED MY NAME.

EXHIBIT C: ONE (1) BLOODY FUNNEL; CAME IN ONE (1) EVIDENCE BAG.
  • EXHIBIT C: ONE (1) BLOODY FUNNEL; CAME IN ONE (1) EVIDENCE BAG.

EXHIBIT D: CLOSE-UP OF RETURN MAILING ADDRESS LABEL. [SIDE NOTE:
  • EXHIBIT D: CLOSE-UP OF RETURN MAILING ADDRESS LABEL. [SIDE NOTE: "666." SIGH.]

EXHIBIT E: WRITING ON EVIDENCE BAG; THIS K. OLSON IS APPARENTLY A PRETTY CRAPPY DETECTIVE.
  • EXHIBIT E: WRITING ON EVIDENCE BAG; THIS "K. OLSON" IS APPARENTLY A PRETTY CRAPPY DETECTIVE.

Have at with your deductions in the comments below, Blogtown Mystery Team™! And here's something worth noting: After looking at this stuff a bit more closely, I'm now 99 percent sure that I've figured out what movie it's promoting. First person to correctly guess it below wins themselves... well, I was going to say "wins themselves a bloody funnel," but it looks like Patrick's already made off with it for his personal use. So I guess you'll just "win" the "satisfaction of playing along with some studio's elaborate marketing scheme." That's kind of rewarding, right?

 

Comments (13) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Don't be so hasty giving that away, Erik. It might be... Magic!
http://magiccards.info/scans/en/rav/77.jpg
Posted by Dave Bow on July 14, 2010 at 3:42 PM · Report
2
Welcome to my elaborate nerd trap for Dave Bow, everyone.
Posted by Erik Henriksen on July 14, 2010 at 3:45 PM · Report
3
Let Me In. Now give me free stuff. I'll be by the offices at 5pm.
Posted by Graham on July 14, 2010 at 3:47 PM · Report
4
NERD TRAP
Posted by flannery on July 14, 2010 at 3:55 PM · Report
5
http://www.yugioh-cards.net/Merchant2/grap…
Posted by Dave Bow on July 14, 2010 at 3:56 PM · Report
6
While I was desperately hoping it'd be a remake of LOST SOULS, Graham is correct - it's that POS bastardized sham LET ME IN. Fricken frick.
Posted by amazonfemme on July 14, 2010 at 4:07 PM · Report
7
DOUBLE NERD TRAP.
Posted by atomic on July 14, 2010 at 4:09 PM · Report
8
The Olsen twins solve a homicide!
Posted by Bronch O'Humphrey on July 14, 2010 at 4:10 PM · Report
9
The House that Drips Blood on Alex? Is Tommy Wiseau doing some sort of weird promotion?
Posted by COdee on July 14, 2010 at 5:22 PM · Report
10
Blood Bongs 2: The Funneling?


Posted by TSW on July 14, 2010 at 8:22 PM · Report
11
So what do I win?
(please don't say the funnel)

As internet sleuthing goes, this was cake.

http://www.chud.com/articles/articles/2442…

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1228987/
Posted by rabblevox on July 15, 2010 at 12:22 AM · Report
12
Walt Disney's The Story Of Menstruation (1946)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kWR-rIKRe4
Posted by Rosy on July 15, 2010 at 1:53 AM · Report
13
@AF: I know people who've attended test screenings of the remake. They had good things to say, and these were people who know their cinema. People who you can trust.
Posted by Graham on July 15, 2010 at 9:08 AM · Report

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