A bunch of you old fogies bitch and moan about my near-incessant Justin Bieber posts. But because I share this knowledge with you, you in turn can discuss it intelligently with others while (of course) turning your nose up. That being said, THERE'S A NEW KID ON THE BLOCK, GUYS. And his name is Cody Simpson, and he's the current heir apparent to Das Bieb. Give a look and a listen. IT'S AMAZING IN ITS FREAKISHNESS.
Some quick Cody Simpson Fun™ Facts™: Cody was born in 1997 (already hate him), from Gold Coast, Queensland (hate him), is a championship swimmer (whatever, hate him), and was discovered on YouTube just like Justin Bieber, who he will NEVER be because he's a two-bit punk who wears Capris and girl sunglasses and makes Justin Bieber look like this guy.
Cody Simpson? First and final warning: This is Justin Bieber's internet. Get your bony ass off of it!!
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!