Former articles editor of New York magazine Nick Catucci has left the rag to become Rolling Stone's first online editor ever! (Apparently the RollingStone.com site was formerly being run by a can of tortellini soup named "Karen.") And according to this interview with the New York Observer, Nick already has huge plans for the online music site... none of which include "snark."

"I love funny writing, but I’m sick of snark, and the site will not be snarky," Mr. Catucci wrote in an email to the Media Mob. "All that said, rollingstone.com has tremendous potential, and new ideas for shaping the coverage come to me constantly."

He doesn't have any ideas, does he? People who heartily insist they have tons of new ideas rarely if ever have any new ideas. BUT NO SNARK, GUYS! At least there won't be none of that stuff. Such a bold, original editorial stance. AND NO HIPSTERS, EITHER! I hate those guys, don't you? Especially snarky hipsters, and... omigod. I can't stop. I can't stop with the snark! OH NO, NOW I'LL NEVER GET A JOB WITH ROLLINGSTONE.COM!!!

Seriously. Help me. I can't stop.