This Week in the Mercury

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... in the Predictability of Southpaw

Monday, August 9, 2010

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Aug 9, 2010 at 9:41 AM

North Korea fires 110 rounds of artillery harmlessly into the sea in a show of military idiocy.

337 and counting killed by Chinese mud slides (not the drink).

JAILBREAK! An Arizona convict "with Aryan-leaning sympathies" (shock) has escaped, and is armed, dangerous and possibly headed toward Indiana.

At long last, the iPhone will also be able to use Verizon as a carrier, possibly in January. Too bad for the rest of us locked into millennium-long contracts, right?

BP finishes up drilling which will allow them to insert the final butt plug into that drippy well.

A 14-year-old boy allegedly started the LA wildfires… while smoking pot. Can someone please buy this kid a bong and a fan for his basement?

A new biography claims that children's author Roald Dahl (James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) was actually a spy who bedded an astonishing number of women. Now it all makes sense! (No, it doesn't)

Today in "Nothing is happening in the Kyron Horman case…"

A police training review of the James Chasse, Jr. case reveals that Officer Chris Humphreys never should have tackled Chasse, since he didn't do anything wrong. Thanks for finally joining us.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Low 70s today and tomorrow with a chance of showers, bumping up to the low 80s later in the week.

And finally, Jersey Shore's Snooki gets her own Taiwanese CGI treatment... and hits President Obama with a bottle??? CAN SHE DO THAT??

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