How many times have you been knocking back vodka shots with your pals, when you stop to realize that the Grey Goose you're swilling isn't doing shit for your freakishly sculpted abs?

Never? Oh. Well, the makers of Devotion Vodka have. They're making a vodka that has about two grams of protein in every shot, meaning FINALLY your alcoholism will be helping you achieve the dream body you've always wanted. Bonus: They've got The Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino to help shill the stuff for 'em. Says a well-spoken Sorrentino via press release:

”As a company they share the principles of devotion. Being devoted to my family is very important to me because they always come first,” Sorrentino adds. “Which is why Devotion Vodka is my drink of choice.”

Wha? Don't worry; the Situation unpacks that statement on Facebook:

"...Guaranteed to change any grenade in2 sumthin to creep on!"

Ohhhh. Now I get it... Wait. What's a grenade? Hmmm... Hit me, Urban Dictionary!

The solitary ugly girl always found with a group of hotties. If the grenade doesn't get any action, then neither does anyone else.

Wow.

Please, buy local vodka. If you need protein that badly, eat a fuckin' sandwich.