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Monday, August 30, 2010

Good Morning News!

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 9:15 AM

Katrina: Five Years Later: Obama says he'll fix everything.

Seven US Soldiers Killed Today: Two separate roadside bombs in Afghanistan killed seven Americans.

The Other BP Spill: BP accidentally releases huge amounts of toxic chemicals in Texas, forgets to tell the neighbors.

Mosque Torched in Tennessee: Accelerant found after mosque burns... also someone drove buy blasting "Dixie" from their truck.

The Japanese Tea Party: They're loud, they're proud, and they hate Koreans.

Obama Doesn't Care That You Think He's Muslim. "There is, a mechanism, a network of misinformation that in a new media era can get churned out there constantly."

Douche Your Way to a Raise: According to this ad, courtesy of SocioImages

Eve.jpg

Human Feet Keep Washing up on Washington's Shore: A tourist discovered the ninth human foot to wash up on the West Coast in three years.

PGE vs. the Environment, Round XVII: PGE and the state bicker over the closing date for Boardman coal plant.

iPads for Quakers! Every new student at Newberg's George Fox University can get a free iPad.

 

Comments (20) RSS

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1
That douche ad is GOLD!

"Great job on the XXX project, you made me look good today!"
Posted by TSW on August 30, 2010 at 9:27 AM · Report
2
I wonder if an anal douche will help men to get a raise.
Posted by BruceWang on August 30, 2010 at 9:46 AM · Report
3
GOOD MORNING, SMIRK! GOOD MORNING, TSW! GOOD MORNING, BRUCE WANG! HOW IS EVERYONE?!?

ONE OF THESE MORNINGS I WANT THIS TO JUST BE 'GOOD NEWS MORNING', WITH ONLY GOOD NEWS. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
Posted by Graham on August 30, 2010 at 10:00 AM · Report
4
Good morning Graham. I am well. The douche ad was really funny.
Posted by BlackedOut on August 30, 2010 at 10:33 AM · Report
5
I just want to point out that nine is an ODD number of feet. We can expect at least one more foot, right?
Posted by Reymont on August 30, 2010 at 10:34 AM · Report
6
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE ALL CAPS PLEASE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. THANK YOU.
Posted by kiala on August 30, 2010 at 10:55 AM · Report
7
Good morning, all!

I've high-colonic-ed my way to the top, BruceWang!
Posted by TSW on August 30, 2010 at 10:57 AM · Report
8
GOOD MORNING, KIALA AND GRAHAM AND EVERYONE ELSE! LONG TIME NO CHAT! HOW HAVE THINGS BEEN AROUND HERE? WHO IS THIS DENIS PERSON?
Posted by A CAT, probably on August 30, 2010 at 11:06 AM · Report
9
Wow, that wasn't even a joke about honking Dixie.
Posted by Jacob Schraer on August 30, 2010 at 11:06 AM · Report
10
WELCOME BACK CAT. THINGS HAVE BEEN SWELL. THE LAST YEAR OR SO HAS SEEN SOME QUALITY COMMENTING, THE QUASI-DEATH OF THE ?LAND XPERRIMENT, THE BIRTH & DEATH OF DOZENS OF INTERNS WITH FUNNY NAMES, AND THE DEPARTURE OF ONE MATT DAVIS TO NEW ORLEANS.

IT IS PREDICTED THAT WHEN FACED WITH A CITY WITH ACTUAL PROBLEMS, MATT WILL DROWN IN HIS OWN TEARS.*

MATT WAS REPLACED BY DENIS C THERIAULT (PRONOUNCED DENEEE TERRORBOT) WHO HAS BEEN DOING A QUALITY JOB SO FAR, AND REALLY DIALING BACK THE EARNESTNESS FROM THE GLENN BECK-ISH HEIGHTS OF HIS PREDECESSOR.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

* "HURRICANE DAVIS" WILL COST ONE LIFE, CREATE ONE REFUGEE, AND REQUIRE 38.50$ IN FEMA FUNDS TO CLEAN UP.
Posted by Commenty Colin on August 30, 2010 at 11:31 AM · Report
11
GOOD MORNING ALL!

@GRAHAM: THE COMMENTS SECTION IS THE "ALL GOOD NEWS" PART.
Posted by tk. on August 30, 2010 at 11:48 AM · Report
12
pirates need peglegs. so, no, no more feet probably.
Posted by miguelaron on August 30, 2010 at 11:58 AM · Report
13
I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT USING ALL CAPS EARLIER.
Posted by BlackedOut on August 30, 2010 at 11:59 AM · Report
14
ME TOO. MAY I BURN IN HELL LIKE A TENNESSEE MOSQUE FOR THE ERROR!
Posted by TSW on August 30, 2010 at 12:40 PM · Report
15
THE COPS DON'T SUSPECT FOUL PLAY, BUT I'M NOT SURE WHY SO MANY FEET CAN END UP IN THE WATER. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE PREDOMINANTLY MALE, SIZE 11-12 AND RIGHT FEET.

I'M GLAD I HAVE SMALL FEET.
Posted by Fruit Cup on August 30, 2010 at 12:54 PM · Report
16
HI COLIN! THINGS ARE WELL, I'M BACK IN TOWN PERMANENTLY SO FAR AS I CAN TELL; AM NOT SURE IF I'LL MAKE MORE THAN INFREQUENT VISITS TO /B/TOWN. THESE NEW NAMES CONFUSE AND FRIGHTEN ME.
Posted by A CAT, probably on August 30, 2010 at 1:06 PM · Report
17
@ FRUIT CUP: I WOULD PROBABLY BEGIN TO SUSPECT FOUL PLAY AFTER THE SEVENTH OR EIGHTH RUNNING SHOE-CLAD SEVERED FOOT APPEARED ON THE BEACH WITHIN 36 MONTHS.

I GUESS CANADIAN POLICE AREN'T THE SUSPICIOUS TYPES.
Posted by Commenty Colin on August 30, 2010 at 1:10 PM · Report
Posted by atomic on August 30, 2010 at 2:19 PM · Report
19
HOW...? WHA...?

AT WHAT POINT should YOU START SUSPECTING FOUL PLAY, THEN? HOLY GOSH.
Posted by Reymont on August 30, 2010 at 3:14 PM · Report
20
I read somewhere that there was one matched pair of feet. The article went on to say that when a body is left in the water, the head, hands and feet are the first things to come off of the torso. Aw crap. I forgot to capitalize my comment. So shoot me.
Posted by ujfoyt on August 30, 2010 at 7:02 PM · Report

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