This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Sep 8, 2010 at 9:28 AM
Oregonian sports columnist John "Waitasecond...the Beavers are LEAVING?? When did that happen??" Canzano got into an argument on the radio with Mayor Sam Adams about something he should've spoken up about MONTHS ago. But then he is an idiot, so there you go. Listen to it here, if you're a fan of idiocy.
BP comes out with a new internal report that says, "Hey, remember that oil spill? Wasn't entirely our fault!"
Whoooooosh! Wow, did you see that? An asteroid came kinda close to the earth! And another one is heading our way this afternoon? GAAAHHH! Call the Space Cowboys!
The stoning of an Iranian woman has been put temporarily on hold—presumably so they can find some bigger stones.
Riots erupt in the streets of L.A. after an officer shoots a man for allegedly threatening someone with a knife.
The UN accepts partial responsibility for over 500 systematic rapes in the Congo.
Very old comedian Jerry Lewis threatens to smack Lindsay Lohan... with what? His catheter hose?
Hillbilly preacher is still threatening to burn copies of the Quran on September 11, despite sound reasoning from non-inbred Americans.
In news you don't care about: America's Got Talent judge Piers Morgan is replacing Larry King.
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Slight chance of showers today, high of 68, with continued drying and cool weather to finish out the week.
And finally, Will Smith's daughter Willow Smith is 9-FREAKING-YEARS-OLD and she already has an ass-dropping single?? Listen to this, and get ready to BOUNCE.
1
GOOD MORNING STEVE. CANZANO MAY BE A HYPERBOLIC MORON, BUT TONRY DIDN'T MAKE HIMSELF LOOK MUCH BETTER WHEN HE TOOK SOME ILL-INFORMED AND GRATUITOUS SWIPES AT BASEBALL IN HIS POST ON THE ISSUE.
ALSO: HEY PORTLAND, PUT ON YOUR DAMN BIKE HELMETS! I FEEL LIKE I'VE SEEN A SURPRISING NUMBER OF UNHELMETED RIDERS IN THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS. THIS MAY MATCH UP WITH "COMMUTE TO WORK BY BIKE MONTH" OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT HAS BEEN FILLING THE BIKE LANES WITH NIMRODS LATELY.
REMEMBER: 1) IF YOU BIKE REGULARLY IN TRAFFIC, SOONER OR LATER YOU WILL PROBABLY COME IN CONTACT WITH A CAR OR ANOTHER CYCLIST, AND 2) JUST ONE HEAD INJURY CAN SERIOUSLY FUCK UP (OR END) YOUR LIFE. /SERMON
ALSO: HEY PORTLAND, PUT ON YOUR DAMN BIKE HELMETS! I FEEL LIKE I'VE SEEN A SURPRISING NUMBER OF UNHELMETED RIDERS IN THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS. THIS MAY MATCH UP WITH "COMMUTE TO WORK BY BIKE MONTH" OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT HAS BEEN FILLING THE BIKE LANES WITH NIMRODS LATELY.
REMEMBER: 1) IF YOU BIKE REGULARLY IN TRAFFIC, SOONER OR LATER YOU WILL PROBABLY COME IN CONTACT WITH A CAR OR ANOTHER CYCLIST, AND 2) JUST ONE HEAD INJURY CAN SERIOUSLY FUCK UP (OR END) YOUR LIFE. /SERMON
2
GOOD MORNING CC. GREAT SERMON, I SECOND YOUR WELL REASONED ARGUMENT ON BICYCLE (COMMON SENSE) SAFETY. I SEE FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE ENJOYING THEIR LUXURIOUS UN-HELMETED HAIR AND I AM JEALOUS. HOWEVER! I AM COZY IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT IF A CAR SMACKS ME, MY BRAINS WILL NOT SPLAT ONTO THE SIDEWALK OR PASSERBY PEDESTRIANS.
4
GOOD MORNING ALL! YEAH, I'M GONNA LISTEN TO 15 MINUTES OF TWO GUYS WHO SHOULD ALSO BE WEARING HELMETS. ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW THE BIKE LANE DETRACTORS SAY THAT A BIKE IS A CHILD'S TOY AND NOT WORTHY OF SERIOUS CONSIDERATION, YET THEY DESPERATELY WANT MONEY SPENT ON A FACILITY IN WHICH GROWN MEN PLAY CHILDREN'S GAMES?
6
GOOD MORNING, CC! GOOD MORNING, WSH! GOOD MORING, FRUIT CUP!
AS AN AVID CYCLIST, I WOULD LIKE TO CONCUR WITH CC'S PROCLOMATION ON WEARING YOUR GODDAMNED HELMET! I FOR ONE WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME SORT OF SYSTEMATIC SHAMING OF NON-HELMET WEARING CYCLISTS! MY PERSONAL HATRED IS WHEN I SEE PEOPLE THAT HAVE HELMETS STRAPPED TO THEIR BAG AND ARE NOT WEARING THEM!!! I NEED A BIGGER FONT TO EXPRESS MY DISDAIN!!
AS AN AVID CYCLIST, I WOULD LIKE TO CONCUR WITH CC'S PROCLOMATION ON WEARING YOUR GODDAMNED HELMET! I FOR ONE WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME SORT OF SYSTEMATIC SHAMING OF NON-HELMET WEARING CYCLISTS! MY PERSONAL HATRED IS WHEN I SEE PEOPLE THAT HAVE HELMETS STRAPPED TO THEIR BAG AND ARE NOT WEARING THEM!!! I NEED A BIGGER FONT TO EXPRESS MY DISDAIN!!
7
BIKES ARE A FAR MORE EFFICIENT (AND MANLY) FORM OF TRANSPORTATION THAN THE AUTOMOBILE. AND, MUCH AS I LOVE BASEBALL, SOCCER IS A FAR MORE PHYSICALLY DEMANDING SPORT THAT REQUIRES ALL-AROUND ATHLETICISM AND STAMINA.
8
OH, AND GRAHAM AND COLIN:
I ALWAYS WEAR MY HELMET AND HAVE BEEN A PERSISTENT PEER-PRESSURER TO MAKE FRIENDS WEAR THEIRS. ONE FACE-TO-PAVEMENT WRECK A FEW YEARS BACK (WEARING A HELMET, WHICH PREVENTED A CONCUSSION IN ADDITION TO MY ELEPHANT-MAN-ESQUE FACIAL ABRASION) AND I NEVER LEAVE HOME ON MY BIKE WITHOUT IT.
I ALWAYS WEAR MY HELMET AND HAVE BEEN A PERSISTENT PEER-PRESSURER TO MAKE FRIENDS WEAR THEIRS. ONE FACE-TO-PAVEMENT WRECK A FEW YEARS BACK (WEARING A HELMET, WHICH PREVENTED A CONCUSSION IN ADDITION TO MY ELEPHANT-MAN-ESQUE FACIAL ABRASION) AND I NEVER LEAVE HOME ON MY BIKE WITHOUT IT.
10
GOOD MORNING! I LOVE HOW THIS HAS BECOME A BICYCLE HELMET THREAD. IF ONLY REAL STATISTICS WERE LIKE THIS THREAD, THEN EVERYONE WOULD WEAR THEIR HELMETS.
11
STOP COMPARING SPORTS, THAT'S A WASTE OF TIME (UNLIKE COMMENTING ON THE INTERNET).
STOP SAYING SPORTS ARE STUPID. THEY ARE NO MORE STUPID THAN ART OR MUSIC, BOTH OF WHICH CAN BE "REDUCED" ALONG THE SAME LINES AS REDUCING SPORTS TO "ADULTS PLAYING KIDS' GAMES." EXAMPLES: PAINTING = SILLY SCRIBBLING, AND MUSIC = BANGING ON DRUMS AND MAKING WEIRD NOISES WITH STRINGS. SEE HOW EASY AND USELESS THAT WAS?
THIS HAS BEEN COMMENTY COLIN, TILTING AT THOSE WHO WOULD TILT AT WINDMILLS.
STOP SAYING SPORTS ARE STUPID. THEY ARE NO MORE STUPID THAN ART OR MUSIC, BOTH OF WHICH CAN BE "REDUCED" ALONG THE SAME LINES AS REDUCING SPORTS TO "ADULTS PLAYING KIDS' GAMES." EXAMPLES: PAINTING = SILLY SCRIBBLING, AND MUSIC = BANGING ON DRUMS AND MAKING WEIRD NOISES WITH STRINGS. SEE HOW EASY AND USELESS THAT WAS?
THIS HAS BEEN COMMENTY COLIN, TILTING AT THOSE WHO WOULD TILT AT WINDMILLS.
12
Why does anyone care if someone else wears a helmet or not? Worry about yourself.
Canzano sounds like an asshole. Sam doesn't do himself many favors here. Sounding like a whiner. He could easily say that Paulson owns both teams and whatever a person might be unhappy about, it's on Paulson.
Canzano's way off base simply because transportation funding has little or nothing to do with the PGE Park business. Why Adams doesn't underscore that, I don't know. Poor positioning? Poor leadership? He doesn't sound like a guy that I would feel comfortable voting for.
Canzano sounds like an asshole. Sam doesn't do himself many favors here. Sounding like a whiner. He could easily say that Paulson owns both teams and whatever a person might be unhappy about, it's on Paulson.
Canzano's way off base simply because transportation funding has little or nothing to do with the PGE Park business. Why Adams doesn't underscore that, I don't know. Poor positioning? Poor leadership? He doesn't sound like a guy that I would feel comfortable voting for.
14
Painting = doing something, playing sports = doing something, biking = doing something, tilting at windmills = doing something. Watching sports, tv, someone painting (Bob Ross, maybe) = entertainment. Sports are not stupid, people who dedicate their lives to watching someone else do something are.
17
@ LIMERICK, IF YOU'RE ONLY WORRYING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHY BOTHER POSTING OPINIONS TO ANONYMOUS STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET?
18
@ SAM CAN DO NO WRONG: I'D BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT THE KIND OF CLOSET CASES WHO HAVE "SAM ADAMS" AS A GOOGLE ALERT.
19
What Portland really needs is a supply functioning keyboards - it seems most of them can only type in caps.
23
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE I DON'T CARE ABOUT SPORTS BUT EVEN WITH A BIKE HELMET MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT ME TO RIDE A BIKE. LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW 1958 THAT IS. ALSO I LIKED THAT SONG BY WILL SMITH'S KID. HOT BEATS!
24
GOOD MORNING, ALL! AMEN CC, AMEN GRAHAM, AMEN DARKNESS, AMEN OREGOMETRY! I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO ADD HERE RE: HELMETS/SPORTS EXCEPT THIS: THIS IS IN NO WAY SCIENTIFICALLY-DRAWN SAMPLE BUT I'VE NOTICED A GREAT MANY SUPER TWEE, FASHION-CONCIOUS FEMALES WITH OVERSIZE SUNGLASSES AND JEAN SEBERG HAIRCUTS RIDING SANS HELMET. I WISH THEY'D AT LEAST PROTECT THEIR BRAINS BECAUSE ANY CONTACT WITH THE PAVEMENT, OTHER BIKERS, A CAR WILL SHATTER THEIR BONES AND CRUSH THEIR SUNKEN CHESTS.
ALSO, ON THE IRONY TIP, I'VE HEARD QUITE A FEW FEMALES DECRY THE STUPIDITY OF SPORTS WHO ARE ADDICTED TO SEX IN THE CITY. IS IT SEX AND THE CITY? I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
I'M SORRY IF IT SEEMS LIKE I'M PICKING ON THE LADIES TODAY. I REALLY DO LOVE YOU. IF YOU'RE OVERLY-EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT MAYBE IT'S CUZ OF YOUR PERIOD?
ALSO, ON THE IRONY TIP, I'VE HEARD QUITE A FEW FEMALES DECRY THE STUPIDITY OF SPORTS WHO ARE ADDICTED TO SEX IN THE CITY. IS IT SEX AND THE CITY? I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
I'M SORRY IF IT SEEMS LIKE I'M PICKING ON THE LADIES TODAY. I REALLY DO LOVE YOU. IF YOU'RE OVERLY-EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT MAYBE IT'S CUZ OF YOUR PERIOD?
25
With all the mandatory caps and clickiness happening a song comes to mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBWpWSKjTbU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBWpWSKjTbU
26
GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE, FOR ANOTHER MINUTE AT LEAST. MY HELMET IS DUMB BUT I LIKE MY BRAIN TOO MUCH.
28
i am so disappointed in God today. Terry Jones asked God to send a sign that burning Qur'an is a bad idea. I thought for sure that one of those asteroids would have hit Gainesville Florida about here: http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ie=UTF8&…
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