This Week in the Mercury

Motorcycles and Milkshakes


Motorcycles and Milkshakes

The Richly Rewarding Films of Paul Thomas Anderson

Adventure Brunches


Adventure Brunches

For Those Who Brunch Outside the Box

Friday, September 10, 2010

Kindergarten: A Hint of Auschwitz

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Sep 10, 2010 at 11:27 AM

So as you know, I've impregnated a lot of women—and as such, a number of my offspring (spread all across the country) are attending their first day of kindergarten today. I escorted one of them to class this morning (her name escapes me), and let me tell you the entire experience had the stink of Auschwitz.

1) Crowds of parents and kids marching down long narrow halls.
2) A brief hug before the child disappears into a mysterious room.
3) Wails of terror.
4) Parents sadly walking away, weeping uncontrollably.

That's Auschwitz, baby. Anyway, I didn't think to do it at the time (AND NOT BECAUSE I WAS CRYING OR ANYTHING), but when my kids get older, I'm going to start treating the first day of school with the humor it deserves, and perhaps do something like this hairy-chested guy did.

"It's the first day of school and the girls are watching!"

More on Oh, You Kids!

Comments (9)

Showing 1-9 of 9

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-9 of 9

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy