Looking at KGW's site today, and I saw this...

And I was like, OH COME ON! You bunch of old fuddy-duddies have nothing better to do with your time than to hassle teens trying to score some free candy? Maybe you'd be happier if they were egging your house!
Anyway, that's what I WAS thinking until I started distributing candy tonight, and quickly discovered that some trick or treaters are total dicks! Evidence:
1) An absolutely adorable 3-year-old Elmo came to my door (shyly saying "Twick or tweat!"), followed no less than one minute later by a not so adorable 17-year-old Elmo. I SWEAR TO GOD. One after the other! The second didn't say anything, but glowered as he thrust his soiled pillow case toward my candy bowl. Obviously I didn't try to tickle either.
2) Two teens gals came to my door and were too busy TEXTING to say "Trick or Treat!" And again I swear the following is true: One said to the other, "Is like Caitlin coming or what?" And the other said, "She's not coming until 9 pm when the old people leave their candy bowls out on the porch." FUCK.... YOU, CAITLIN! Don't be surprised if I leave out a bowl of rat traps.
3) The doorbell rings. I open the door. Nothing. Suddenly a teen in a gorilla mask jumps out from behind the corner screaming, "YAAAAAAAUUURRRRRGGHHHH!!!" Then calmly, "Trick or treat." If it weren't for my underpants being full of feces, I'd probably be glad he wasn't texting.
Got any tales of Halloween "Dick or Treaters"? Leave 'em in the comments!

Perhaps you've heard something about a rather large event a couple of comedians whipped up yesterday in Washington, DC? By some estimates the Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear, hosted by cable TV personalities Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert drew more than 200,000 people to the National Mall. Fox News' take is right here. A hometown rally, one of a bunch around the country, drew hundreds. A lot of 'em came over from the Mission Theater, at a viewing party thrown by the Mercury and the Bus Project.
A case when the rules don't always apply...The Portland Development Commission's $8.1 million loan to green energy firm Vestas contains several unusual incentives not normally offered to the PDC's business partners.
A pair of would-be bombs air-mailed to the United States were probably supposed to have detonated in mid-air, counter-terrorism officials now say. And—surprise!—there appears to be an Al-Qaida connection.
It's not just your smartphone. Also "made in China"? The plague.
The NYT's Frank Rich explains why GOP country clubs and backrooms still won't be serving much tea after Tuesday's election. It's not the beverage of choice for the lobbyists, bankers, energy barons, and CEOs who still pull the levers of Republican power.
Now God is even more pissed off at Haiti. Still wrecked by this year's earthquake, still sucking air amid a wave of cholera deaths, the economically disadvantaged island nation is now bracing for a hurricane.
Free birth control pills! Not that there won't be a HUGE EFFIN' FIGHT over this, probably rendering this all moot, but the new health care overhaul apparently paves the way for effective, sane family planning.
Here's what a real sex scandal looks like: Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is accused of pressuring police to get a 17-year-old belly dancer sprung from custody. The girl was arrested previously on theft charges, and began to sing about her time spent entertaining at parties held in Berlusconi's mansion. Some reports say the two had... sex for money. Not the first time he's been so accused.
“I love the position that I’m in now,” Sarah Palin says about running for president in 2012. That position being, essentially, getting paid lots of money to tour the country and appear on television while inflaming jingoists and ignoramuses and hillbillies. But she'll leap in if needed!
On that incredibly frightening note, Happy Halloween.
Hang on a second. I, uh, I think I have something in my eye.
No! No, I'm not crying. I just … I'm just so happy! I never thought I'd live to see this day!
After Castlevania 64 proved itself almost a digital incarnation of the dark times to come, I stood by with fingers crossed and hope in my heart. Then Konami gave us Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness, and even a playable werewolf couldn't salvage that one.
Through Lament of Innocence, Curse of Darkness, the anticipatory dread of the canceled Castlevania Resurrection, and the baffling Wii fighter Castlevania Judgment, I remained by Konami's side. Bolstered by the still-phenomenal 2-D efforts and ingenious outliers (see: Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles), I never lost hope that one day I'd be gleefully immersed in three hundred and sixty degrees of vampire whipping action.
… And as I tower over Dracula's crumpled form on that fateful day, Konami wouldst be redeemed. So it was written, etcetera, etcetera.
Boys and girls, it's been more than a decade since the feat was first attempted, but Konami has finally delivered: We have an undeniably awesome 3-D Castlevania.
Hit the jump for a miserable little pile of secrets.
So it’s Halloween, but it’s also Sunday, which probably means one of two things: Either you’re still hungover from last night’s pre-Halloween festivities, or you’ve got some neutered, only semi-drunken Halloween plans lined up for tonight. (Or hell, maybe both—in which case, congrats on being an overachiever.)
Regardless: If you (A) like film, and (B) wanna watch something scary for the holiday, and (C) are looking for a way to kill a few hours—as well as a good number of future hours—here’s my advice: Pick up the Alien Anthology, and prepare to not leave your couch for the foreseeable future.
If you’re a fan of the Alien films (or, more likely, if you’re a fan of the first two Alien films), you’ve likely already seen the excellent Alien Quadrilogy, 2003's nine-disc, special features-laden set that established the gold standard for DVD releases. (The Quadrilogy was so goddamn impressive, in fact, that Fox had to invent a whole new word to describe it; apparently, “tetralogy” didn’t have the punch they were looking for.) The Alien Anthology—which came out last week on Blu-ray—not only boasts the expected upgrades to that set—namely, gorgeous high-def transfers and great sound for all four films, which are the main reasons for any cinephile to pick this up—but also adds even more in-depth special features. There’re two cuts of each film (including the vastly superior director’s cut of 1986's Aliens and the similarly superior workprint cut of 1992's Alien 3), commentaries, deleted scenes, isolated scores, individual documentaries on the making of each of the films, deleted scenes from those documentaries (referred to as “enhancement pods”), Dan O’Bannon first-draft screenplay for 1979's Alien and Joss Whedon's first-draft screenplay for 1997's Alien Resurrection (and James Cameron’s original treatment for Aliens), production artwork, and a truly insane amount of archival materials. All told, the press release for the Alien Anthology says it boasts “over 60 hours of special features and over 12,000 images," and yeah, that seems about right, because christ.
Thankfully, this isn’t just a case of Fox throwing everything they could possibly find onto some Blu-rays, repackaging it, and reselling it to fans—almost all of the special features here should prove fascinating for anyone who’s interested in film, in large part because of how surprisingly candid and jarringly self-critical they are. How candid, you ask? Well, courtesy of the Anthology’s documentary Wreckage and Rage: The Making of Alien 3, let’s take a look at happy-go-lucky director David Fincher on the cheery set of the not-troubled-at-all film Alien 3. You can tell he already knows this film is gonna turn out great!
Hit the jump for a bullet-point list on why the Anthology’s worth its hefty cost ($140!) and so very, very much of your time.
Courtesy the least date-rape-prone member of the Gawker empire, io9, comes Organ Trail, a neo-retro rejiggering of The Oregon Trail focused on the zombie apocalypse.
Recipe? Take the Apple II-style graphics of The Oregon Trail, replace the 1800s climes with a modern, yet undead-pocked landscape, and task players with traveling from D.C. to Portland. Result? A browser game that couldn't possibly be more aimed at our audience if it included pictures of Chris Dudley being assaulted by adorable, twee kittens.
As with its inspiration, the entire thing is a pretty quick play, but that's just about right for a bored Saturday afternoon. Enjoy: The Organ Trail.
Despite credentials like "former White House press secretary" and "host of own TV show", veteran PBS caballero Bill Moyer's opinion piece on Measure 26-108 is a bit sloppy.
With awkward metaphors like—
John would have fit well in Portland because he was a radical middle-of-the-roader who believed in widening the road into a broad highway so more people could travel it.
—you can see why the Oregonian neglected to publish the article in its print edition.

HOWEVER, buried in Moyer's long and boring sentences is a very good point: Portland is one of the only cities in the country that has voter-owned elections, and seeing as how they're totally empowering and sensible, we Portland citizens should vote to protect them.
He has good company, including some folks who make the point more articulately. The measure is endorsed by the ACLU, which provides a much more coherent argument for its passage, as well as Harvard professor Larry Lessig, who came to Portland on Thursday night to speak in its defense. Lessig spoke at the First Unitarian Church and later at Brewhaha, an event sponsored by the Mercury and the Bus Project.
Even Moyer's aforementioned friend John has something to say. Keep reading.
Today, Pitchfork hosted the premiere of the first video from La Sera, AKA Katy Goodman from Vivian Girls, just in time for Halloween. A combo of slasher movie imagery, slapstick comedy, and breezily swaying '60s girl-group pop, "Never Come Around" just made itself the soundtrack song to this year's Halloween. Check it out above.
The 7-inch single of "Never Come Around" comes out on November 16 on Hardly Art, and La Sera's first full-length comes out early 2011. Catch Goodman when La Sera comes through town to play Holocene on Tuesday, November 2.
End Hits: Tricks and treats all year round.
ENTER THE VOID We get it, Gaspar Noé. You, like, totally have tons of Deep Thoughts.
INSIDE JOB Hey, want to feel even worse about the financial crisis? Here! (This movie's actually really good, as long as you're cool with suppressing the urge to light your bank on fire.)
SAW VII It's Halloween, which means there's another terrible torture porn flick for dumbass dipshits to spend their money on.
More, as ever—including some seasonally appropriate screenings of Psycho, Black Sheep, and Nosferatu—in our Film Shorts and Movie Times.
I'm not sure whether you would call my day "fun."
I spent much of it splitting time between the Portland City Council's budget retreat in City Hall and the Portland Police Association contract negotiations in the Portland Building. It was, at the least, educational.
In the budget meeting, we learned that Portland has $9.7 million in leftover revenue from the 2009-2010 fiscal year, and that previous forecasts for the general fund—source of much of the city's spending—are holding up amid a still-dour economy. One likely beneficiary of that extra cash: The police and fire bureaus, which would be allowed to hire new workers to offset an expected wave of retirements this summer.
In the union talks, we learned that the city wants to move forward as quickly as possible on negotiations, because—ding-ding-ding!—labor costs from a contract that officials wanted negotiated months ago linger as one of the great question marks on the city's ledger for the next two years.
Union and city negotiators tried to chip away at some of the less controversial items today, as in nothing sticky like discipline, oversight, or compensation. But after more than five hours of talks, there was agreement only on some housekeeping measures.
One seemingly innocuous change sought by the union, like changing "bureau" to "city" in the contract, was anything but. The city's team had to say no, so far, because of how that might affect plans to arm police-like workers in other bureaus (Hi, Randy Leonard!)
What else did we learn today? Keep reading.
This sign just went up in a vacant lot on NE 20th, between Everett and Davis:

1. Is that a labored White Castle reference?
2. Where will homeless people build their mattress forts now?
The regional government discovered the problem in 2007, when a man who bought a gravesite when down to visit it and found—whoops—it was already occupied. Metro hired an auditing agency to look through their records and when the agency found 640 twice-sold gravesites, Metro shut down grave sales at Lone Fir Cemetery, the oldest pioneer cemetery in Portland and the location home to most of the errors.
Photos of the records and more on unmarked graves in Lone Fir below the cut.

ADZ IT UP—Injecting squelchy electronics into his baroque pop on The Age of Adz, Sufjan Stevens has made an oddball record that doesnít try to retread past triumphs—and a good thing, too, as Stevens is one of the most adventurous, ambitious performers around, and hearing him track new territory is always exciting. NL
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 8 pm, $34.75-43, all ages
DüNYAYI KURTARAN ADAM—A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away Turkey, a few noble hacks created Dünyayi Kurtaran Adamóbetter known as "Turkish Star Wars." With a bargain-basement budget, a few determined Turks created the Star Wars ripoff to end all Star Wars ripoffsóand tonight the musicians, composers, and voice actors of Filmusik bring it to life with a live score, soundtrack, and sound effects! EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 10 pm, $10-12
Still trying to preserve the surprise over who won Project Runway last night? Catch up! In the meantime, let's painfully relive Gretchen's lowest point on the season, courtesy of reality show super-villainy's B-teammate, Ivy:
For the rest of you who know, hit the break.
Straight men needed us for the first 2.3-million-or-so years that the genus, er, homo has been around. But now that we're not living in caves, well...
"Homosexuality is bad thing. It used to be useful when we were cavemen and we needed people to guard the caves full of women and children. If I’m a guy out hunting, I want to leave someone back at the cave tending to my wife and kids, and I don’t want a normal guy having that kind of access to my wife and kids. So, in our evolution, you can see that there use to be a utility for homosexuality, but that was when we were cavemen and we aren’t cavemen anymore."
Or, okay, maybe Christmas Eve for Tron nerds. Last night's "Tron Night" at Bridgeport Village was essentially a retread of last year's Avatar Day, with 20 minutes of footage showed in an IMAX theater that was only like a quarter full. (Seriously, are they just flat-out lying about these things "selling out"?) I will say this: The people who were there really, really liked Tron. One adorable couple had matching Tron hoodies; a guy in front of me had not only a Tron hoodie but also a FLYNN'S ARCADE t-shirt; throughout, there were giddy squeals whenever there were callbacks to the original film. (Of which there were a lot. This thing's gonna be loaded with shameless fan service.) True, these sizzle-reel presentations are nothing more than an elaborate marketing scheme ("Feel free to go onto Facebook and tell people what you saw!" one of the people running the screening read off a script after the footage ended), but at least the people who were at last night's event were having fun.
"BLAH BLAH BLAH BUT HOW WAS THE TRON-TACULAR FOOTAGE!?!?!", you ask? Pretty awesome, I answer. I'm not sold that Tron: Legacy's story will be any good (though anything's gonna be an improvement over the original's), and I'm not sure the digitally de-aged Jeff Bridges will work (somewhat ominously, last night's footage only included one very brief shot of him saying a single line). But everything else? Impressive.
Clearly welcoming any Avatar comparisons, Disney wants Tron: Legacy to be seen big—like, IMAX big—and in 3D, and after last night, it's clear why: While the scenes in Legacy that take place in the "normal" world are in 2D, once the film goes into the Tron world, shit gets big and grandiose and loud and 3D, with bass that rumbled the theater and giant, all-encompassing neon flying things everywhere. It wasn't stunning on an Avatar level—the visuals here are less dense, less organic, less revolutionary—but was a hell of a sensory experience all the same. Just about every frame of footage shown last night was gorgeous—picture-perfect examples of super-slick, sci-fi ulta-modernism, with some of it looking like the original Tron on steroids, and some of it looking cooly quiet and confident (there were some 2001-style, Kubrickian touches to some of the set designs, which made me clap my hands like a hyperactive little girl). The action sequences—including a duel with laser frisbees and a visceral light car chase—were cool, the effects were impressive, the production design was phenomenal, and Daft Punk's score, blasted over the theater's speakers, tied it all together.
I can't speak for the rest of the film, and—even after the very selective footage Disney deigned to show off last night—I'm particularly nonplussed about movie's character- and story-based elements. But c'mon: No one's going to see Tron: Legacy for that stuff. People are gonna go see Tron: Legacy to be visually and aurally overwhelmed by some really pretty stuff, and if last night's extended preview was any indication, that's exactly what they'll get.
Here's the schedule for tomorrow's "Rally to Restore Sanity" on Comedy Central. (COME WATCH IT WITH US AT THE MISSION AHHHHHHHH!!!) I'm going to get a Bloody Mary and a breakfast sandwich during the "Sheryl Crowe" part. BOOOO!!!

..so please enjoy the incredible full version of Tracy Jordan's "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah."
HEY BLOGTOWNIES!
As you know, there are always a lazy few who wait until the last minute to think up a Halloween costume. These procrastinators eventually and invariably come up with a half-ass outfit that has the potential of ruining a perfectly good Halloween party. BUT THIS YEAR, IT'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT.
Because this year, I would like the commenters of Blogtown to come up with a definitive list of costumes NOT to wear on Halloween! I'll get it started:
NOTHING DENOTED AS "SEXY":
Okay, your turn! WHAT ARE THE WORST COSTUME IDEAS THAT YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN? C'mon! Halloween desperately needs your help!
No really, look, this letter addressed to "Sara Mirk, The Jerk" arrived yesterday.

So, what is it the human race wants to say? The envelope contained a one-page letter, folded three times, with a sploch of mud at the top. The letter is just typed out links and chunks of various news articles relating to marijuana, including: a couple paragraphs about Measure 74, a 1997 Oregonian piece about then-governor Kitzhaber signing off on state legislation that briefly recriminalized small amounts of marijuana, a few sentences from a January 2010 Salem News.com post about Bill Bradbury supporting industrial hemp, and several other sections of articles about Kitz opposing legalization.
Given these puzzle pieces, I think we can deduce three things: the human race is mad at John Kitzhaber, the human race is maybe mad at us for not endorsing Measure 74, and the human race is stoned off its ass.
City Council is at a "budget retreat" all day, meaning they're retreating to the council chambers to discuss the lay of the land for the next fiscal year (i.e. "How fucked are we?").
Denis will be reporting on the budget discussion in relation to the cops' budget later today, but for now, this choice quote from City Economist Josh Harwood explaining the future of the city economy: "We are muddling along, slightly as expected. There's some good news and some bad news, but we're not breaking out."
You needed a reminder... so here is your reminder.
GUYS! Join us TOMORROW (Saturday morning, Oct 30) at the Mission Theater to watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's "Rally to Restore Sanity" and "March to Keep Fear Alive" on the big screen! Why should you get up so early to do such a thing? THIS IS WHY:
• It will be hilarious.
• You probably don't have cable or satellite or the internet. If you do, then you're lonely and should still come.
• THERE WILL BE BREAKFAST AND BOOZE!! Particularly a "Sanity Breakfast Special" featuring a breakfast sandwich with a Bloody Mary or Mimosa for only $8!
• You can dress up and make funny signs if you like—and be sure to drop by THE MERCURY'S TEA PARTY TABLE.
• Did I mention it's free? Oh. Okay. IT'S FREE!!
Also, at the conclusion of the viewing party, the BUS PROJECT will actually bus you to Portland's version of the "Rally to Restore Sanity" on the Eastbank Esplanade!
Here are the pertinent deets:
9 am — Noon: Rally Viewing Party with Breakfast Bloody Mary Special! (Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, doors at 8 am, FREE)
10:30 am: Portland’s March to Keep Fear Alive (Kick off at SW 4th and Madison, behind City Hall!)
Noon - 5pm: Rally to Restore Sanity (Eastbank Esplanade & SE Main, ride the Bus Project Bus over there!)
JOIN US! SANITY AND/OR FEAR IS GREATLY ENCOURAGED!

Clutching her 15 minutes for dear life, Angelina Pivarnick went on Wendy Williams two days ago to report: 1) That she blames the show for her mother's poor health; 2) She only slept with one dude (Vinnie) the ENTIRE two months she was in the Miami house (she's practically a virgin); and 3) Drum roll please, she's releasing a single titled "I'm Hot." Oh man, I love Wendy Williams, so I'm gonna go ahead and let you watch my girl's expression when Angelina breaks the big news to her. PRICELESS!
Go here to check it out to check it out. It's totally worth 1:22. "No seriously, it's really cool."


The Portland Lesbian Choir sang a somber French lullaby in the rain before domestic violence survivor Tracy told her tearful story about escaping abuse and becoming an advocate at women's shelter Raphael House trying to help other women get their lives restarted. "I often come across waiting lists a year long," said Tracy. "One reason people go back to their abusers is there is no affordable housing." The PWCL has to tell 60 percent of women in crisis that no shelter space is open.

"What are we as a community doing wrong?" asked PWCL Executive Director Rebecca Nickels. "We're not supporting survivors in the most basic ways. If someone tells you about experiencing personal violence, tell them you believe then and that they are a person of value."
The Portland Mercury annual charity auction this year will benefit Raphael House, stay tuned for it in December and bid generously.Â
Now while you swap your entire paycheck for a single bag of groceries—I kid because I love—at New Seasons, you can do so to the sounds of local Portland artists. The locally-owned grocery chain is picking up where City Hall's phone lines left off and launching the "Home Grown Music Program," where the music of over 300 bands will be played in all their locations.
Take it away, press release:
The program was developed by local company Overland Agency with music supervision from Steve Berlin (Music Producer and Los Lobos band member) and Jeremy Petersen (Local Music Host/Producer) for New Seasons Market.
“We couldn’t be more excited about this program!” says Lisa Sedlar, President/CEO of New Seasons Market. “We feel lucky to have formed a relationship with a group of talented folks who share our passion for supporting all things local, from local music to local farmers!”
The in-store music player developed for the program currently has over 2,200 songs, over 150 hours of music and includes genres such as urban, country, world, electronic and classical. Individual stores will be able to tailor playlists based on genres and tempos, allowing each location to create the music environment most suited for their customers’ and employees’ tastes.
The music won't just be from Portland bands, instead it will be "Oregon, Washington and British Columbia musicians and bands." If I am shopping for bulk nutritional yeast and I hear a Hot Hot Heat song, so help me God...
In addition to Home Grown Music, New Seasons Market is working with Overland Agency to develop an iPhone application that will give customers in the store the ability to access information on the artist and song currently being played, as well as purchase the song through iTunes. Additional features of the application will include information on special offers and events.
Oh, that's kind of cool.
End Hits: I am not kidding about that nutritional yeast comment. I love that stuff.
But first he takes his turn in the national spotlight...
Good job, Anderson.
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