In a newly-released audio tape and jihad scrapbook set, Public Enemy #1 Osama bin Laden shifted his focus this week from “death to the infidel” to “please recycle.” The fugitive terrorist leader noted his concern for flood victims in Pakistan and cited global climate change as a serious concern.

Great. Just great. I care about climate change — something certain conservatives would have us believe is an exaggerated and unimportant (possibly fictitious) problem. Now, it’s also a political position that I share with Osama bin Laden. How am I supposed to earn the Tea Party’s respect with that guy cramping my style?

(P.S. I want the Tea Party to respect me. I just don't feel the love, and it hurts sometimes.)