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Monday, October 11, 2010

SL Letter of the Afternoon: You Don't Love Him

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Oct 11, 2010 at 3:59 PM

My name is "Adam." I finally have a boyfriend and his name is "Steve" and he was talking to me about sex. And then he flat out and told me that when he was in high school he was a whore. He slept with every single guy. And he said that he has HIV. My question is: I love him. So much. But I don't want him if he has it. I'm a pussy because I'm scared of him. Because he has HIV. I have a phobia about it. I don't want it. Because he wants to fuck me bareback.

How do I tell him that I want to see other people? Please help me.

Sent From My iPhone

My response after the jump...


Break up with "Steve."

He doesn't love you, SFMI, and you don't love him. You're attracted to him despite who he is. Stop thinking with your dick.

There are lots of good, decent, loving guys out there—lovable and loving—who have HIV. You may meet one of those HIV-positive guys some day, and that guy can and should inspire you to reconsider your phobia about HIV. And here's how you can tell a good, decent, loving, worthy-of-you guy with HIV from a selfish piece of shit: a good one wouldn't dream of fucking you without a condom.

This guy, however, isn't loving or lovable, and he isn't worthy of you, your time, your ass, or even a moment's reconsideration of your current fear of HIV. Not to put too fine a point on it: this piece of shit is manipulating you. He's cruelly exploiting your feelings for him because he wants to wrap your presumably young and naive ass around his dick. He doesn't care about you, he's not interested in you, he doesn't love you. He only cares about his dick, he's only interested in his dick, and he only loves his dick.

Do not date this guy. Don't even speak to him. Delete his number from your phone, de-friend him now and forever.

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