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Monday, October 18, 2010

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Oct 18, 2010 at 9:44 AM

The Supreme Court has decided to hear whether or not American born Abdullah al-Kidd—who was held in federal detention for 16 days, without being charged with a crime—can sue former attorney general John Ashcroft. Ho ho ho ho YESSSSSSSS!

Someone went postal in a Tennessee post office this morning, killing two employees. In a related story: Someone actually used a post office.

NATO official: Osama bin Laden is in Pakistan, you guys! Run over there! Qui... aw, crap. Too late. Again.

Cue shit storm: Wikileaks to release 40,000 secret documents on the Iraq war!

"Super" typhoon
smashes into Philippines.

WSJ reports that ten popular Facebook apps have been transmitting personal information to advertising and internet tracking companies. I'm gonna sue that Mark Zuckerman person... and Justin Timberlake, too!

From the AP: "Celine Dion has been admitted to a Florida hospital to prevent the early delivery of her twins." Will not say obvious joke... will not say obvious joke...

As Denis mentioned yesterday in GMN, Justin Bieber has been accused of beating up a 12-year-old during a game of lazer tag, and I am very happy to report that this story appears to be BULL... SHIT.

In sports news I don't care about, but you might: A sports team called "The Oregon Ducks" are at the top of a poll of some sort.

In his divorce, Tiger Woods will allegedly have to pay his ex-wife Elin Nordegren $110 million. OUCH!! Those were some very expensive sluts.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny and mid-60s through the work week, and get ready for a showery weekend.

And finally, Christine O'Donnell gets autotuned by the Gregory Borthers in this very lyrical song entitled, "I'm Not a Witch."

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