JESUS CHRIST! Do we really need to read another dispatch about Christine O'Donnell's sexual proclivities? Really? Why, actually, yes. Yes we do. Because they're weird and hysterical, and she's a major party candidate for the U.S. FUCKING SENATE, and well, they're also weird and hysterical.

This latest one comes courtesy of Gawker (hat tip to Blogtown tipper Kattie), and it reeks beautifully of desperation and sadness—with a dash of tormented hypocrisy, given how much the would-be Delaware senator likes to talk up chastity and not touching oneself.

In it, a now 28-year-old Philadelphia man describes how he came to lay with a much older (and very aggressive, if very drunk) O'Donnell on Halloween night three years ago. He dishes on a few choice details you'd never want to know about your presumptive senator. But, not to ruin the surprise, they DON'T have sex. They just come close. (And that, more than anything else, is why this is so sad.)

Christine informed me that she was a virgin. "You've got to be kidding," I said. She didn't explain at the time that she was a "born-again virgin." She made it seem like she'd never had sex in her life, which seemed pretty improbable for a woman her age.

Predictably, the good-byes were a little awkward.