BREAKING: Randy Quaid has bravely exposed a vast conspiracy run by Hollywood executives, Google, and, naturally, his brother Dennis. This clandestine, Illuminati-like organization is aided and abetted by a "monstrous ring of accountants, estate planners, and lawyers who are mercilessly slandering me and trying to kill my career and, I believe, murder me in order to gain control of my royalties." These people are known as "Star Whackers."
He would also like a job, if that's cool.
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