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Thursday, November 4, 2010

I, Anonymous: Fighting Over Free Stuff

Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Thu, Nov 4, 2010 at 3:34 PM

I, Anonymous writers are often criticized for using the forum in lieu of confronting the person(s) who inspire their anger. Most of the time, I think the conversations they generate on whatever issue of etiquette is on hand are worth coddling them for, although it would never hurt if there were more actual acts of vengeance in I, Anonymous submissions. This one came in last night, and it's on the pathetic end of the spectrum not only for the apparently weak attempt this person made to confront the person, but even more so because I can't help but think of it as a depressing reminder of these economic times, with our citizens fighting for scraps by the side of the road, even if one of them does have a nice car:

Dear Free List Hoarder: I don't have a car. I don't have money. I don't have a job. Yes, I'm working on these things. So, when I'm not refreshing the "jobs" page, I'm refreshing the "free" page, because, unlike you, I actually need a few things. All of my possessions live in boxes, and so for the last three weeks I've been trying to find ANYTHING within a half mile radius of my house that was free, and that I could use to put things on or in. Well, much to my surprise, I actually found something I could really use that I could walk home with without losing my arms! It had just been posted, what luck! I threw on my shoes and walked the three blocks to pick up that crappy kitchen cart on rollers. It was ugly, but I didn't care. 30 feet away, I could see the pile. I would finally have something to put some things on! But no, you came rolling down the street in your NICE CAR. Probably on your way home from work, heading to the house that you own, that is full of stuff. I stood 5 feet away as you stopped in the middle of the street, ran to the pile, and started putting them in your car. I watched you move all the crap around in the backseat to make room for the thing that I legitimately needed and searched for for days. It was dark, so you didn't see me until I asked you if you planned to take everything, to which you replied "I'm trying!" Well, I hope you die under a pile of your crap, and your 30 cats eat you.—Anonymous

Is that last bit a hoarding joke, or are cats being regarded as measures of prosperity now? If so, I'm rather well-to-do.

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