Earlier today, I was trying to explain to to someone who had never seen the film what it is that makes John Carpenter's They Live so unspeakably great. I failed, horribly, probably because my name is neither John Carpenter nor "Rowdy" Roddy Piper.

Hopefully this condensed version of the film I've meticulously pieced together from the YouTube accounts of fellow They Live enthusiasts will succeed where I failed. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you They Live—in eight minutes and 23 seconds.

PART I: NOT WAAAAHHHN BIT, NOT WAAAAHHHN BIT

IMDB trivia: John Carpenter wanted a truly rugged individual to play Nada. He cast wrestler Roddy Piper in the lead role after seeing him in WrestleMania III.

PART II: THE BENEFITS OF VIGILANTISM

IMDB trivia: The line, "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum" was ad-libbed by Roddy Piper. According to director John Carpenter, Piper had taken the line from a list of ideas he had for his pro wrestling interviews.

PART III: THEY JUST KEEP ON GOING

IMDB trivia: The fight between Nada (Roddy Piper) and Frank (Keith David) was only supposed to last 20 seconds, but Piper and David decided to fight it out for real, only faking the hits to the face and groin. They rehearsed the fight for three weeks. Carpenter was so impressed he kept the 5 minute and 20 second scene intact.