True, poetry has been "ruined" for a very long time—but this video officially burns and salts the poetry earth, ensuring that it fucking stays ruined for the rest of eternity. BEHOLD! A woman reciting poetry, dancing naked in the rain. The first half minute will make your jaw automatically lock shut. The second half minute will make you writhe in pain. In the final minute, you will lose the will to live, and begin hacking off your arm with a cheaply made pocket knife. (No, your arm isn't trapped under anything—but it did help you click "play" on this video... and therefore must be punished.)
No thank you, Videogum.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!