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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Science! / Homo / Poll Mercury Turns Birds All Gay and Shit

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Dec 1, 2010 at 10:44 AM

Blogtown consulting detective Graham emailed us the following very intriguing headline:

Screen_shot_2010-12-01_at_9.39.04_AM.png

Now I have no need to read the accompanying story, because I already know that this theory is categorically TRUE. Our newspaper does turn ibises—as well as other wetland birds—homosexual. And for reasons I can't begin to fathom, it also seems to turn Maltipoos straight. BUT!

WHAT DOES THE MERCURY TURN YOU INTO?

Thanks, Graham!

 

Comments (5) RSS

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1
I'm going to throw a bunch of mercs into my yard and see if those goddamn crows become less angry and awful-sounding, and more fabulous and Kylie Minogue-sounding.

Posted by Joneser on December 1, 2010 at 10:56 AM · Report
2
I'm sad I can't run this experiment; my ibis couldn't be any gayer.
Posted by Commenty Colin on December 1, 2010 at 11:15 AM · Report
3
"At that moment, the bird began to flutter. It tumbled down through the bleeding tree and landed at our feet with a thud. Its graceful neck jerked twice and then straightened out, and the bird was still. It lay on the earth like a broken vase of red flowers, and even death could not mar its beauty."
Posted by cat & beard on December 1, 2010 at 12:23 PM · Report
4
Once again, a Comment of the Week from CC.
Posted by atomic on December 1, 2010 at 2:18 PM · Report
5
The Mercury makes my pants tighten, but it's not like, a gay thing.
Posted by Fruit Cup on December 1, 2010 at 4:45 PM · Report

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