Howdy ho, gleeks! I'm here to talk about last night's Glee holiday special! It looks like it might be the last Glee of the year (can I get confirmation on that?) so let's make it memorable.

Speaking of memorable, this screencap is from last week but I promised I'd put it up and I am a man of some of my words. Where can I buy this calendar?

We're halfway through the season and what a season it's been. I would classify the first 60% as a complete trainwreck with some high highs and some low, low lows (though no one really agrees on what either of those were). The last four episodes have had a surprisingly even keel but I have to admit that I've missed some of the insanity. As maddening as most of Glee's run has been, it has never been boring. I can't say the same for this episode.

"A Very Glee Christmas" hit a bunch of notes we've seen before, either in previous episodes or in countless other Christmas specials. Some of that was intentional: Sue Sylvester's Grinch storyline was amusing if not really clever. I mean, I liked seeing Jany Lynch vamp it up with Seussian gloves and Becky (who I guess just never attends class now. Does she even have parents? What's she doing at school so late?) dressed like a raindog, stealing from homeless children, but by the time New Directions sang the song from Whoville I had mentally checked out.

A lot of the characterization this time out was at its most base level: Sue is mean, Will is well-meaning and lonely, Brittany is simple, Artie is caring, Rachel is clingy, Finn is hurt, etc. Brittany and Artie - who may be my favorite TV couple right now - had a sweet thing going but... I dunno. Why did everyone need Brittany to believe in Santa Claus? Was the Christmas miracle of Artie's ReWalk from the hands of Santa or was it implied that Bieste did it with the millions of dollars she had laying around?

Boring-est of all was Rachel and Finn. I was thinking a lot this episode about how, when Rachel was conceived as a character, the writers must have been picturing her as really over the top. And sometimes they go that route, unexpectedly, and sort of make her a villain. That doesn't always work but it's more interesting than the Rachel we got tonight. Neither she nor Finn have enough character depth to be front and center in a storyline of love lost and broken hearts; just give Rachel a mirror and Finn some shiny Christmas tree baubles and they should keep themselves amused until the writers figure out who they actually are.

And don't get me started on that fucking Wham! song I should've seen coming a mile away. I'm just glad Finn's grief reared it's ugly head like [George Michael indecent exposure joke] and stopped the whole thing.

I did like Kurt singing with his dreamy friend, Eyebrows. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Dalton is basically gay Hogwarts if you replace spell-casting with spontaneous duets. I've always thought "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is one of the dirtiest Christmas classics (not as dirty as "Santa Baby", but it's still a little rape-y) and seeing two teenage boys sing it to each other actually felt more transgressive than a lot of what they've had Kurt do of late (which is mainly to tear up).

But... yeah. A solid, pretty boring episode. Not as crazy as I would have liked nor as crazy as I dreaded. See ya next year!

Stray notes and quotes

Don't the New Directions kids have families they should be spending time with on Christmas Eve? I'm touched that they care enough about Will to break into his house, but c'mon.

The kids are mortified at the idea of caroling around the school for charity? They break out into song in public all the time! That's, like, all they do.

Talk about baseline boring Glee: the kids singing the song from the Island of Misfit Toys to each other? Blech.

OK, last gripe: a Facebook joke and a Shakeweight joke? Glenn Blech.

Chocolate mall Santa's lap looked cozy.

Will dropping Sue's phone off the hook like "What?" was a great moment.

"Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies."

"I want bling. I can't be more specific than that."

"I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff." Me too, Mike Chang.

1) dog robot 2) a soul

"You're a regular Agatha Christie. Except even more sexless."

"On dry runs Santa uses the Isuzu."

"He went to take a long poop and it was there."

Unintentionally silly line from Bieste: "Are you guys punkin' me? I thought we were cool after you sang me that song!"