The good people at MTV have found a way to ruin New Year's for EVERYONE. (Though I suppose that they've been ruining things for a few years now.)

MTV is holding a New Year's Eve special in Times Square—no problem there. Whitney Cummings will host and Flo Rida will perform—I'm somewhat indifferent to this. There will also be a recap of the year in entertainment—Meh. Here's the part where MTV dirties your soul:

MTV says it plans to put "Jersey Shore" star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi inside a ball that drops in New York's Times Square, to ring in 2011 as part of its "MTV New Year's Bash" special.

I naively clicked on the link because of this headline: MTV to drop Snooki inside New Year's ball. Somehow, that seemed way more ominous and deadly for Snooki than I had any right to hope for. But don't worry though, MTV isn't done yet. Not at all.

The network says other stars from its hit reality show, "Jersey Shore," will lead the crowd in a collective fist pump in hopes of breaking the Guinness world record.

First, sigh. Second, there's a Guinness World Record for most people fist pumping in one location all at once? Sigh.

So, if you're one of those people who uses television to get you through the holidays, Don't. Just get shitfaced instead. It seems healthier.

Via.