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Friday, December 10, 2010

Life Lessons from the Survival Guide to DigiPen

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Fri, Dec 10, 2010 at 3:18 PM

A student at the DigiPen Institute of Technology has written a large, comprehesive(?) guide to being a student there. (For those who don't know, DigiPen is a Redmond, Washington, school for computer science and programming, and churns out lots and lots of videogame designers.) Student Joseph Tkatch's missive touches all bases, some of which I guess are needed for programmer types:

There is no quicker way to be a COLOSSAL FAILURE than to smell bad. And the problem with these kids is, they don’t realize they smell bad, even when they read shit like this. So as you read this, please pause, for a second, and we’re going to go through a mental exercise to determine if you smell bad. It’s not rocket science. Remember that if you smell bad, you probably don’t realize it, and this is adversely affecting your social life. If no one likes you, you’re not going to be able to work with other skilled people, you’re going to get stuck with the losers, and all the shit you make at DigiPen will be mediocre, and then your job will be mediocre, and quite frankly you deserve it. So here’s how we figure it out:
1. Do you shower EVERY single day?
2. Do you wear deodorant EVERY single day?
Yes. It’s that simple. These are the miracle secret keys to not smelling bad. This is the wondrous and life-changing advice that I am giving to you. If you smell bad, and you follow my advice, I just changed your life.

Motherfucker, I just gave you the most important advice that anyone in the whole world has ever given you.

And there's style advice for programmers:
if a business person has two candidates, equally skilled, and one is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and the other is wearing a naruto headband, a black trench coat in the middle of July, and sweatpants from wal-mart, they’re going to pick the t-shirt and jeans programmer every time.
It gets ugly:
You do not have time for a girlfriend. Having a significant other will probably cause your schoolwork to suffer. Girlfriends are very expensive. Your wallet will definitely suffer. And when it comes to actually dating DigiPen girls, I’m going to advise that you don’t. Though they will be offended by this remark, most of them simply are not very attractive. There are exceptions. But when you’re talking about approximately fifteen girls, there’s not a lot of statistical wiggle-room for exceptions. The truth is, you could probably do better.
Read the whole thing over at Sushi with You.

ht: Metafilter

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