This Week in the Mercury

How to Spike a Watermelon

Feature

How to Spike a Watermelon

Because There’s No Drunk Like a Watermelon Drunk


Everything as Fuck

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Good Morning(ish), News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Sun, Dec 12, 2010 at 12:19 PM

Amtrak to and from Seattle? Shut down until Tuesday! Blame goes to a track-side mudslide north of Vancouver. That's the bad kind of mudslide. Even worse than the ones your sotted grandmother's gonna whip up in her 1973 Oster blender on Christmas Eve. Keep an eye on the wet weather here.

A boondoggle! A mess! A pack of lies! The Oregonian digs into Governor Ted Kulongoski's long-promised plan to right a dangerous wrong: Oregon's woefully inadequate emergency radio system. After tens of millions of dollars, and on the eve of what was supposed to be a key milestone, hardly any progress has been made. Turns out project officials utterly misled the governor's office and the Legislature. Also, you!

OMIGAWD! It's... it's... it's... not really all that much money. The state gas tax will leap upward by 6 cents as of January 1, and that means the average driver will pay 30 DOLLARS MORE OVER THE COURSE OF A WHOLE YEAR! Gasp! Here's a hint: Take the bus once in a while. Or stop idling in the Burgerville drive-thru.

It can't happen here? A doctor in New Jersey is in deep shit after allegedly providing steroids and human growth hormone to hundreds of law enforcement officers and firefighters. Meanwhile, Portland officials are fighting hard to bargain a drug-testing policy with the city's main police union.

Twin explosions in Stockholm's shopping district—an apparently unsophisticated car bomb and a suicide bomber—are being linked to terrorism, although how precisely they're linked remains unclear. Only the suicide bomber was killed; two others were injured.

In utter secrecy, a cabal of nine wealthy banks meets weekly to plot the future of one of the global economy's most murky, yet vitally important, financial markets: derivatives. Businesses—from giants to ma-and-pa joints—that rely on derivatives trading, as such, have no idea whether they're getting a fair price when they go to market. And the bubble they're building could pose dire consequences for our economy.

Richard M. Nixon is the gift that keeps on giving. (That is, if your desired gift is a treatise on racial and ethnic stereotypes by the most powerful man on the planet, recorded without his knowledge.)

Tax cuts. Confidence. Obama staffers. Sunday talk-show gangbang.

One of the world's richest fossile sites, a Peruvian desert, has been besieged by a wave of fossil smugglers (no, not like Harrison Ford if he put on his old Han Solo suit), and now Peru is pondering whether and/or how to keep the world away from its buried treasures.

Your latest WikiLeaks roundup: A Russian assassination plot; Britons still don't much like Catholics, or the palace-dwelling man who leads them; North Korea might be building nuclear missile sites deep in Burma. For an excellent roundup of each day's stories, in all the papers publishing the cables, bookmark this.

Inside the cockpit of a failing giant aeroplane.

Inside the head of someone gone cinematically mad:

More on News

Comments (6)

Showing 1-6 of 6

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-6 of 6

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy