This Week in the Mercury

Everything as Fuck
Up & Coming

Music

Up & Coming

This Week's Music Previews



Friday, December 31, 2010

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 11:26 AM

Sorry for the late start, but I had to beat the lines at the liquor store, right? HERE'S THE NEWS!

CRAP! Apparently while I was at the liquor store, people around the world already started celebrating the new year! HURRY! DRINK FAST!!

A "suspected" tornado kills three in Missouri. So they're saying it could've been a guy with a leaf blower?

A Texas robber rings in the New Year by robbing a bank and taking three hostages.

Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico refuses to pardon wild west gunslinger Billy the Kid. In response, Billy the Kid said, "Like I give two shits... I'm dead."

John Mellencamp and wife Elaine are splitting up; no word yet on who retains custody of the little pink houses.

There's so much sexual misconduct going on in this story, I don't know where to begin.

A house fire in Seattle traps six on a rooftop, forcing a 70-year-old woman to jump into the arms of a fireman. (I'd jump even without the threat of a fire.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: JESUS CHRIST, IT'S COLD TODAY with a high of 37. Expect more of the same sunny cold conditions until further notice.

And finally, from all of us here at Blogtown, we wish you all the Happiest of New Years! Let's try to make 2011 the best yet, and let's start it all off with a little "Electric Boogie," shall we? GET CRUNK!

Comments (6)

Showing 1-6 of 6

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-6 of 6

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy