Personally, I'm dropping three Oxycontins, snorting five bumps of coke, swilling a gallon of tequila, and spending the remainder of the evening in the back of a Chiers van... but that's just me. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
If you're still searching for the fun, here are a few maybes for your list.
Get your sheets wet, listenin' to Keith Sweat! Boost your booty-gettin' chances by 94 percent this New Year's Eve with one of the sultriest, sexiest, suavest R&B crooners of the New Jack Swing era. Sweat will undoubtedly get your date's blood boiling (in a good way) with bedroom classics such as "I Want Her," "Twisted," and "Nobody."
w/Mint Condition, Tracy Harris, Mike Phillips; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $55
If you want to dance and do not like fucking around, Lazer Sword are here for you. The Berlin/LA duo of Lando Kal and Low Limit are all business when it comes to dropping thick slabs of pure bass, pulsating electronica, and a cavalcade of hyper-mixed beats that will make you leave it all out on the dance floor.
w/Elliot Lipp, R/D, Virtual Boy, Tyler Tastemaker, plus more DJs upstairs at Rotture; Branx, 320 SE 2nd, 9 pm, $20
Adam Shearer might be one of the finer songwriters around, but the Weinland frontman knows what you want from a New Year's Eve party—to dance like a motherfucker. That's why Weinland sheds their sad-bastard stylings for one night of the year, and transform into a roof-raising party band like no other.
w/Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside, DJ Safi; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $15-17
The band that once offered to "rub you down with brandy," Strength is a hip-thrusting trio whose swirling disco-pop sound can raise the temperature of any dance floor. Joining them is an army of diverse Portland talent, from the restrained, delicate folk sounds of Benoît Pioulard to the crate-digging LP collection of DJ Beyondadoubt.
w/We Like Cats, Benoît Pioulard, DJ Beyondadoubt, DJ Copy, DJ Zac Eno, Sex Life DJs; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $12
While they remodel their longtime home, Ground Kontrol's temporary location two doors down has the same great games and fun (and bar!), but with blacklights! Play free games all night with admission, while DJs Ghostdad, Capcom, and Epor keep the energy up.
10 NW 5th, 5 pm, $15, 21+
Bummed that you didn't win our auction to have Langhorne Slim play at your private party? Yeah, we know, but don't worry buddy, you can still catch him at this public show!
w/Sassparilla, Jessi Adele; Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 9 pm, $20-25, 21+
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!