This Week in the Mercury


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Celebrity Deaths Come in Threes

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 5:17 PM

Sad news in the music world today—the news that Gerry Rafferty died this morning. The man responsible for the sultry, saxy "Baker Street" was also a member of Stealer's Wheel, who had a hit with this classic in 1973:

Great song, strange video. What's with Sweaty Spaghetti-Eating Guy? Anyway, our condolences to Rafferty's family, thus concluding today's celebrity musician death report...

WAIT. There's more. Mick Karn, bassist for British new wave group Japan, also died today. Here's one of that band's finer moments:

Rest in peace, Mick. You will be remembered.

So. [glances around furtively] These celebrity death things usually come in threes, right? What other famous musician will die today?

THIS JUST IN:

Musician Avril Lavigne is reported to have died shortly after a snowboard accident earlier today - January 4, 2011.

The singer/songwriter & novice snowboarder was vacationing at the Whistler Blackcomb ski resort located 125 km north of Vancouver, in British Columbia, Canada with family and friends. Witnesses indicate that Avril Lavigne lost control of her snowboard and struck a tree at a high rate of speed.
WHAAAATTTTT??? Oh, Avril wishes she could die in such a badass way. Turns out this report is total steamin' bullshit, generated by Global Associated News, which is a celebrity death hoax site. You can just punch in a name and it comes up with a news story. Problem is, some media outlets ran the Lavigne story as if it was true. Which it ain't.

Thus concludes today's insensitive and at-least-33%-useless Celebrity Death Report.

lavigne.jpg

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