If you're eating oatmeal right now, prepare to have a computer screen covered with oatmeal! BECAUSE YOU'RE TOTALLY GONNA SNORK IT AFTER SEEING JUSTIN BIEBER'S VANITY FAIR PHOTO SHOOT!!

Theres an 80 percent chance I have herpes now!
  • "There's an 80 percent chance I have herpes now!"

Yarghhhh! Oh, Christ... how can I be having a stroke? IM ONLY SIXTEEN!!
  • "Yarghhhh! Oh, Christ... how can I be having a stroke? I'M ONLY SIXTEEN!!"

More after the jump!

What can I say? The ladies love my most recent essay on Descartes.
  • "What can I say? The ladies love my most recent essay on Descartes."

Checkers, Pepsi, and Bitches: Aint Nuthin but a Beeb Thang
  • Checkers, Pepsi, and Bitches: Ain't Nuthin' but a Beeb Thang

via Vanity Fair