It's no secret that John Canzano's column is the sad corner of newsprint where sports journalism goes to die, a fact all the more apparent with his latest piece that inexplicably links the tragic Club 915 shooting to former Blazers rebounding cupcake (and longtime Canzano foil) Zach Randolph. The alleged shooter of Club 915 bouncer Ruben Mata is one Kevin Charles Moffett, who years back hung around with Z-Bo's "Hoop Family" entourage.

Of course this barely credible link means absolutely nothing and it's horrible form as a journalist—and a human being—to make such an accusation. Whatever. Let's all mount up on our high horses and watch Canzano make some illogical moral judgements:

But I'm wondering how much, or if any, of this could have been avoided had the Trail Blazers not waited so long to figure out who forward Zach Randolph was. And I'm hopeful owner Paul Allen and his front office don't abandon their good-guy philosophy in the face of more adversity this season.

My question is how can Zach Randolph shoot the basketball with so much blood on his hands? (See, I can make a better Canzano than the man himself.) I wonder if Canzano has a Mad Libs style template for his columns? It's no wonder ________ (insert former Blazers player) was involved in ________ (insert alleged crime) because they hate ________ (insert either kid's name with cancer or breed of adorable puppy).

I'm not sure if Moffett was wearing his diamond-studded "Hoop Family" necklace when the shooting occurred.

Can we list the other items we aren't sure Moffett was wearing? A colorful poncho? Clogs? Lady Gaga's meat dress? Or perhaps a #50 Zach Randolph jersey that was personally handed to Moffett by his bestie pal in the whole world, Randolph himself?

A word count and looming deadline are dangerous in the wrong hands, so let's take a step back from Canzano for one moment here. Zach Randolph does not work in the state of Oregon. He was shipped off in a trade with the New York Knicks in 2007. That was over three years ago (he is currently employed by the Memphis Grizzlies). He doesn't live here, might not even be friends with Moffett for all we know, and he most certainly not on the sidewalk outside of Club 915 on New Year's Eve. Despite all this—and the complete and total absence of facts—Canzano still links him to an alleged murderer. Plus in a week where there was another murder that can be factually linked to the family of former Blazers, it's odd that Canzano chooses to associate Randolph's name with an event he couldn't have less to do with.