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Thursday, January 13, 2011
?!?!? / Astronomy Today in WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE ZODIAC'S ALL DIFFERENT NOW?!?
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 2:58 PM
Okay, first they said Pluto wasn't a planet. Whatever, like I give a shit. But now they're saying I'M NOT A GEMINI ANYMORE?? From the Washington Post:
Star signs were created by ancient Babylonians some 2,000 years ago by tracking where the sun was in the sky each month. However, the moon's gravitational pull has slowly moved the Earth in its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment, reports the Minnesota Star Tribune. Now, during what we think as the month of Pisces, the sun is actually in the sign of Aries.
And if you're wondering what you are now, here's the adjusted list:
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20
Oh HELL TO THE NO! There's NO freaking WAY I'm switching over to Taurus! (What's Taurus like, anyway?)
Taurus, the second sign of the zodiac, is all about reward. Unlike the Aries love of the game, Taurus loves the rewards of the game. Think physical pleasures and material goods, for those born under this sign revel in delicious excess. They are also a tactile lot, enjoying a tender, even sensual, touch. Taurus adores comfort and likes being surrounded by pleasing, soothing things. Along these lines, they also favor a good meal and a fine wine. The good life in all its guises, whether it's the arts or art of their own making (yes, these folks are artistic as well), is heaven on Earth to the Taurus-born.
Oh, well that's different then. And Taurus is also represented by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull, and I'm all over that! Sooooo.... HELLO, MY NAME IS HUMPY... AND I'M A TAURUS.
2
You mean I'm no longer the sign that's also the name of a horrible disease? WOO-HOO! MOON, KEEP GRABBIN' THAT AXIS!
3
This isn't much news, as this shift (known as the precession of the equinoxes) was discovered as early as 130 BC by the astrologers/astronomers of the time.
This is why there are different systems of astrology. The system that follows the actual positions of astrology in the sky is known as sidereal astrology, most commonly found in the Vedic, or Jyotish, astrology used in India. There, you would be a Taurus. Though it would be interpreted a bit differently as Vedic astrology is used to describe one's function in society, per that cultures caste system.
Western astrology, on the other hand, is known as tropical astrology. There, the zodiac represents the movement of the sun through the seasons, not necessarily through the true positions of constellations. Thus, Western astrology is used to describe the personality and potential of growth for the individual as in nature, as all life grows and dies through the seasons. This is also why only twelve zodiac symbols are used, three for each of the four seasons.
So, you can still be a Gemini, unless you want to read your horoscope in India.
This is why there are different systems of astrology. The system that follows the actual positions of astrology in the sky is known as sidereal astrology, most commonly found in the Vedic, or Jyotish, astrology used in India. There, you would be a Taurus. Though it would be interpreted a bit differently as Vedic astrology is used to describe one's function in society, per that cultures caste system.
Western astrology, on the other hand, is known as tropical astrology. There, the zodiac represents the movement of the sun through the seasons, not necessarily through the true positions of constellations. Thus, Western astrology is used to describe the personality and potential of growth for the individual as in nature, as all life grows and dies through the seasons. This is also why only twelve zodiac symbols are used, three for each of the four seasons.
So, you can still be a Gemini, unless you want to read your horoscope in India.
5
They originally had a 13th sign, too, "Ophiuchus". So as long as the whole thing is still basically made up, I'll stick with Leo, thanks.
7
So have they changed the thing where if you weigh more than a duck, you're a witch too? What about cats is it still black cats crossing your path that is bad luck.
8
Yeah, I guess that means that Kepler and Galileo were also bullshit while simultaneously being a part of the scientific revolution.
Pythagoras, Ptolemy, Tycho Brahe, Carl Jung...also all bullshit!
Pythagoras, Ptolemy, Tycho Brahe, Carl Jung...also all bullshit!
11
@Ghassan - I'm sure they all believed in the medical power of leeches, and in ghosts. Does that make those things true? Are those people you listed all-knowing prophets, in your world view?
13
Hmm. More ammo against my mom for when she starts going on about me being so 'cancer' or what-have-you.
16
@Reymont - Of course they're not prophets, but rather intelligent, true individuals who actually took the time to study and investigate something on their own, instead of simply and feebly holding onto "belief" or "disbelief" in something they know nothing about.
21
@Ghassan - Why would you just assume we haven't taken the time to investigate it, or thought carefully about our own conclusions? When you have no data to support that assumption? Why would you leap to that conclusion, without investigation?
It's for the same reason that you believe in astrology - because YOU actually do none of those things, and simply believe blindly in whatever ideas make you happy.
We HAVE, and it's complete and utter bullshit. Go put on your tinfoil hat and smoke some more weed.
It's for the same reason that you believe in astrology - because YOU actually do none of those things, and simply believe blindly in whatever ideas make you happy.
We HAVE, and it's complete and utter bullshit. Go put on your tinfoil hat and smoke some more weed.
22
@Ghassan-- while I hate to add to this discussion as if astrology was anything but absolute bullshit (much like I hate to argue about evolution or the sun rising in the East), there are so many studies discounting astrology it's really not even funny.
A couple: North Texas Univeristy's Jonus Noblitt, physicist Shawn Carlson, Geoffrey Dean (astrologist turned astrology-critic), R.J. Culver, P.A Ianna, and my favorite, Mishel Gauquelin--Google That Shit, Man--are just the ones I can name off the top of my head.
And in case the Forer effect you're experiencing is so strong you can't think about the physical impossibility of astrology, I will point out that the universe's four forces (gravity, electromagnetism, strong nuclear, and weak nuclear) cannot, in any way, be used to justify astrology's claims.
So for the love of shit, please read up on your scientific studies and the LAWS OF PHYSICS before saying anything more about astrology. You're making my knickers all bunchy.
A couple: North Texas Univeristy's Jonus Noblitt, physicist Shawn Carlson, Geoffrey Dean (astrologist turned astrology-critic), R.J. Culver, P.A Ianna, and my favorite, Mishel Gauquelin--Google That Shit, Man--are just the ones I can name off the top of my head.
And in case the Forer effect you're experiencing is so strong you can't think about the physical impossibility of astrology, I will point out that the universe's four forces (gravity, electromagnetism, strong nuclear, and weak nuclear) cannot, in any way, be used to justify astrology's claims.
So for the love of shit, please read up on your scientific studies and the LAWS OF PHYSICS before saying anything more about astrology. You're making my knickers all bunchy.
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