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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Existence of Bill O'Reilly Proves There is No God

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Feb 2, 2011 at 2:13 PM

In one of his low rent "backstage conversations," Bill O'Reilly tries to outwit the Atheists with one simple question: "If there is no God, then how did the moon get there, PINHEADS?" (Yes, he actually ends the question with "pinheads.") His logic: If Mars doesn't have a moon, then why do we have a moon? My two-part answer: 1) We have a moon, because we're AWESOME, and 2) Mars actually has two moons—so I think that pokes a small hole in his argument. Waitasecond, if there is a God, then why did He give Mars two moons, and only gave us one?!? THAT'S BULLSHIT!! And why did he create Bill O'Reilly, who has his own television show, but doesn't know shit about moons? Dude. If you exist? EFF YOU, GOD!!


Hat tips to Wonkette.

 

Comments (5) RSS

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1
Sock sniffer.
Posted by eldepeche on February 2, 2011 at 3:55 PM · Report
2
"So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind... and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business...."
Posted by The Immortal Goon on February 2, 2011 at 4:49 PM · Report
3
God gave Uranus *27* moons.

No point there...always up for a Uranus joke.
Posted by LawyerPepper on February 3, 2011 at 12:28 AM · Report
4
O'Reilly is more machine now than man; twisted and evil.
Posted by wookieeloving on February 3, 2011 at 9:07 AM · Report
5
I don't really believe in god or anything but I do believe O'Reilly was born from satan's ass.
Posted by Beer Batter on February 3, 2011 at 9:46 AM · Report

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