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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Feb 9, 2011 at 9:30 AM

Egyptian protesters try a new tactic in their continuing war to oust President Mubarak—STRIKE!!

The face of the Egyptian revolution, Google exec Wael Ghonim, says he's "ready to die" to bring change to his country. (Now are you gonna pack your bags, Mubarak?)

In other oustings, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi vows to remain in office, even as prosecutors mount a case against him on charges related to prostitution and government abuses.

Virginia Democratic Senator Jim Webb says he will not seek reelection, giving the GOP yet another chance to reclaim the majority.

In other hillbilly news, a cleaning crew saves an abandoned baby choking to death in a cold toilet at a sports arena. AUGGHHH!!! HILLBILLIES!!!

Lindsay Lohan will be charged with a felony, after an expensive necklace that she didn't pay for somehow hopped onto her neck.

Yet another winter storm is brewing and getting ready to buttfuck the Southeast.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Mostly sunny through Friday, with goddamn rain returning on Saturday.

And finally, want to know how many times Bill O'Reilly interrupted President Obama during their pre-Super Bowl interview? WATCH.

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