FIRST! I went to see the special "screaming teenage girls only" screening of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never in 3-Buttfucking-D, Buttfuckers last night (I told you I was a master of disguise!), and you can now read my astonishingly even-handed review right here!

SECOND! Reviews so far for Beeb's movie? MOSTLY POSITIVE! (Is that the sound of poop I hear squirting into your pants?)

THIRD! Ricky Gervais tells NBC they should hire Arrested Development's Will Arnett to replace Steve Carrell when he departs The Office! (This has nothing to do with Beebs—I just think it's a good idea, too.)

FOURTH! Tonight on Jimmy Kimmel, Justin Bieber is the guest and the pair will debut their new duet based on Twitter titles.

AND FIFTH… and fifth... crap. I forgot. OH YEAH!!! CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD! THIS IS BLOGTOWN'S "100TH BIEBER FEVER POST!!!" Never say never, buttfuckers. (Sniff!) Never… say… never.

Thanks to Bieber Believer #2, Scrappers, for making this gif.
I welcome your congratulations in the comments below!