This Week in the Mercury
Monday, February 28, 2011
Drugs / Drunk / TV The Best (Read: Most INSANE) Charlie Sheen Quotes!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Feb 28, 2011 at 10:13 AM
UPDATE 12:15 PM: Charlie Sheen just did a rambling, two-part live, unedited 40 minute interview in his backyard with TMZ. Watch the insanity here. ALSO: Charlie Sheen's publicist quits, so Charlie Sheen fires him. Back to the original post...
As briefly mentioned in GMN, Charlie Sheen went on a media rampage this weekend, promising to grant interviews to ABC first, then screwing them over to talk to NBC. So what? So that means we get TWICE as many nutbag Charlie Sheen quotes! Here are the best of the bunch!
Though he claimed he has been swamped with offers for movies, Sheen said: “I am a man of my word, so I will finish the TV show. I’ll even do season 10, but at this point, [because of] psychological distress, oh, my God, it’s 3 mil an episode.” [Previously it was 2 million per—Hump]
He also again took aim at Alcoholics Anonymous, calling it a failed system developed by a “broken-down fool that was a plagiarist.” He claimed he has conquered his own drug and alcohol problems by the sheer force of his will: “I closed my eyes and made it so.”
On A.A.'s bible:
“It was written for normal people, people that aren’t special. People that don’t have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA.”
“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special,” Sheen continued. “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.”
WOW!! WOW!! WOW!! And trust me, things get even better after the jump!! Here's a taste: "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen."
From his interview with ABC:
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
On drugs:
"I was banging seven-gram rocks and finishing them, because that's how I roll," he said. "I have one speed. I have one gear. Go."
...
"I got tiger blood, man," he said. "My brain….fires in a way that is — I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm."
On his all-night party in January that eventually sent him to the emergency room:
"I'm proud of what I've created. It was radical," he said. "I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something they're never otherwise going to see in their boring, normal lives. And I gave that to them. I may forget about them tomorrow, but they'll live with that memory for the rest of their lives. And that's a gift, man."Sheen described his partying spree as "epic."
"The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like you know, droopy eyes armless children," he boasted.
Again? Just WOW!! WOW!! WOW!! He's gonna end up killing himself—but it'll be fun to watch! Read all about it here.
1
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS VERSION OF CHARLIE SHEEN!!! I want to try the drug known as Charlie Sheen. FACE-MELTING!!! Charlie Sheen is the Ark of the Covenant!!!
2
I hate to agree with Graham about anything, but I want to revoke my previous plea for Sheen to be driven from Hollywood with a whip... his madness is now becoming highly entertaining. WHY OH WHY WASN'T HE HOSTING THE OSCARS LAST NIGHT?
5
I know this train wreck is compelling, but we DO recognize that dude is having an extreme manic swing, right? I mean, anyone who's lived with someone bipolar can see it.. and most of you who can't are figuring something's not right in the ol' brain, right?
Charlie's brain is currently hopped up on SUPERMAN POWER, telling him he is godlike, has incredibly clear powers of perception that he didn't have before, is full of energy and winning and power, and since each of us relies on our brain to interpret reality for us, to him this IS his current reality. He's a freaking god!! We're all dumb for not getting it!
When his brain evens out, and it will, he is going to be extremely embarrassed. Won't recognize the guy talking in the videos. Will wish he had just stayed home and ridden it out alone. Unfortunately, he's willing to talk right now and every media outlet in the world is dying for some crazy Charlie footage! And he's got the energy to talk to ALL of them! And a burning message!!!!
Parading your drunk friend around the bar and making him cluck like a chicken may be funny, but even if he's the one playing the fool, you are the asshole making it happen. Your friend is not a responsible participant.
I do get the humor. I've laughed at most of the good ones too. He's coming up with some priceless shit. But c'mon, it's only funny if he MEANS it, which he doesn't really. We're listening to someone with a brain disorder say stupid things, passing the soundbites around and laughing at him. Does anyone actually feel good about this?
Charlie's brain is currently hopped up on SUPERMAN POWER, telling him he is godlike, has incredibly clear powers of perception that he didn't have before, is full of energy and winning and power, and since each of us relies on our brain to interpret reality for us, to him this IS his current reality. He's a freaking god!! We're all dumb for not getting it!
When his brain evens out, and it will, he is going to be extremely embarrassed. Won't recognize the guy talking in the videos. Will wish he had just stayed home and ridden it out alone. Unfortunately, he's willing to talk right now and every media outlet in the world is dying for some crazy Charlie footage! And he's got the energy to talk to ALL of them! And a burning message!!!!
Parading your drunk friend around the bar and making him cluck like a chicken may be funny, but even if he's the one playing the fool, you are the asshole making it happen. Your friend is not a responsible participant.
I do get the humor. I've laughed at most of the good ones too. He's coming up with some priceless shit. But c'mon, it's only funny if he MEANS it, which he doesn't really. We're listening to someone with a brain disorder say stupid things, passing the soundbites around and laughing at him. Does anyone actually feel good about this?
6
Okay, sorry, two comments in a row.
"He's gonna end up killing himself—but it'll be fun to watch!"
That's really not cool. This guy needs help. He appears to be a super-doucher who has NOT helped himself at all with the drugs etc, but still. Compassion, people. Yes, it's funny! But the guy's a human too. Okay, Debbie Downer out.
"He's gonna end up killing himself—but it'll be fun to watch!"
That's really not cool. This guy needs help. He appears to be a super-doucher who has NOT helped himself at all with the drugs etc, but still. Compassion, people. Yes, it's funny! But the guy's a human too. Okay, Debbie Downer out.
7
I feel bad for his dad. And kids. Sorry, I'm a joy kill, but this toothpaste cannot be pt back in the tube...he's just flippin' out and the media is just pushing him on...I don't want to participate in that. Yeah, some funny stuff you all, but damn, that boy's got some troubles.
8
"Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body ... I have one speed. I have one gear. Go." OK, I am officially in love.
9
Just start recasting the role of Charlie Harper that will sober Charlie Sheen right up.
CBS has already talked to a few on this short list:
John Stamos, Josh Holloway, Justin Long, Zach Braff, Ben Browder, Seann William Scott, Any Balwin, Josh Duhamel . . .
CBS has already talked to a few on this short list:
John Stamos, Josh Holloway, Justin Long, Zach Braff, Ben Browder, Seann William Scott, Any Balwin, Josh Duhamel . . .
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