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Open Season: Year 11

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I, Anonymous: That Girl Is Poison

Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Tue, Mar 1, 2011 at 1:44 PM

Yes I just made a Bell Biv Davoe reference. Deal with it. On to today's I, Anonymous mailbox, which begins with an innocent flirtation, but ends with a nosebleed. Beware:

To the adorable rockabilly barista: The heart you drew into my crema was almost as endearing as your doe-eyed ogling while plating my scone and frothing my milk. I enjoyed the flirt, even though I'm straight, and you were absolutely endearing in your attentions. Sadly, you may want to ensure that the milk you are foaming is not the milk that's been sitting on the counter for untold minutes, and that as you're batting your lashes in my direction, you are also conscious of your "wand depth." As I was lying on my bathroom floor seven hours later, puking my guts out to the point that I got a nosebleed, I wondered if this was really the impression you were intending to leave? Probably not. You were great, just make sure your food handler's card is up to date next time you're trying to score at work.—Anonymous


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