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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 9:31 AM

Things are looking tough for the rebel alliance as Darth Vader points his Death Star… wait… as Muammar el-Qaddafi points his airstrikes at a rebel-held refinery town.

And even if rebels are able to topple Qaddafi, they are struggling to find a suitable replacement.

Republican Rep. Peter King has organized hearings to discover why American Muslims are so terrorist-y.

NPR CEO Vivian Schiller resigns after months of controversy—most recently an incident in which a Republican filmmaker taped an NPR exec shit-talking the Tea Party. Ummm… I'm pretty sure even the Republicans shit-talk the Tea Party.

The space shuttle Discovery will retire today, have a party thrown in its honor, and then get shipped off to the space shuttle retirement home.

Would you trust these priests?

t1larg.pa.catholics.da.jpg

Twenty-one priests suspected of child sex abuse are put on leave. (Only 21?)

Former Illinois guv Rod Blagojevich asks a judge to cancel a second trial against him to "save the taxpayers and himself money." Hey! You gotta ask!

Today in news you really don't want to read, unless you need your faith in humanity shattered, there's THIS.

After getting fired from Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen unleashes his most indecipherable rant yet. Here's a taste:

"Now that I have your lazy fucking attention world, sit back and rejoice. For the Malibu Messiah, the Condor of Calabasas, the fucking warlock of the jealous face that is before you. Undigested hummus trading real estate for this fire dance. I beg you all to stay glued for this raving wise, Gibson shredding napalm poet before you. Alone and unshackeld as the desperate cries of the soon forgotten echo freely in my lair."

Ohhhhh-kay.

The Blazers stomped the Miami Heat last night in a game that had Merc sports nerds whooping in glee.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Scattered showers and windy today and tomorrow with balmy highs in the mid-50s.

And finally, simply because it's creepy as FAWK, here's one of 15 of the creepiest statues of Michael Jackson.

Michael-Jackson-Bad-Sculptures-02.jpg

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