As someone who doesn't eat meat or dairy (I'm not vegan, just complicated), I feel this I, Anonymous:
Attention Portland Restaurants: My friends and I are fine with waiting 45 minutes to an hour to eat brunch, but what we are not fine with is shitty tofu scramble. The last couple experiences I have had at a number of different popular brunch establishments have resulted in bland tasting and unappetizing looking tofu scrambles. A plate of white unseasoned slop is ridiculous. If it doesn't taste good to the person cooking it, guess what—it also tastes like crap to the rest of us. Fuck you very much as well for charging me $10 for that white jello mold, I really appreciate walking out of your establishment feeling like I've been duped. I'm not sure why tofu is so hard for people to get right, but I promise if you can't figure it out on your own. Go on the Internet, look up a recipe, and learn how to season your food. Portland restaurants, I challenge you to make a deliciously seasoned and textured tofu scramble. Please hear our cries.—Anonymous
I feel like such an asshole being a special-needs diner that I mostly cook at home, but when I do go out I want to make it worthwhile. I am not offended by the fact that tofu scrambles are the default vegan option on most brunch menus, because a good one can be just the ticket, but when you're paying $10 or so bucks to eat something easily made at home, I feel like a little effort or cleverness or something attention grabbing is in order. Two off the top of my head that I like are at the Nighlight and the Screen Door, but help me get out of my rut. Where else can you get delicious tofu scrambles for brunch? Any other vegan or vegan-ish breakfast spot recommendations for when the scramble game is making you die (die!) of boredom?
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