This Week in the Mercury

Running Up That Hill

Books

Running Up That Hill

Love and Death on Boyfriend Mountain


Everything as Fuck

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Severe Thunderstorm Warning! (According to the Lady Outside My Window)

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Mar 15, 2011 at 2:49 PM

So I just heard a lady outside my office window say to some of my co-workers, "There's supposed to be a severe thunderstorm heading this way, so be careful!" My co-workers replied, "Yeah... whatever... I'll get an umbrella or something whatever smoke some pot."
Anyway, I've come to trust random voices I hear outside my window, so I took a quick peek at the National Weather Service site, and LO AND BEHOLD! The disembodied voice was right!


* AT 225 PM PDT...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM CAPABLE OF PRODUCING QUARTER SIZE HAIL...AND DAMAGING WINDS IN EXCESS OF 60 MPH. THIS STORM WAS LOCATED NEAR WEST LINN...OR NEAR OREGON CITY...AND MOVING NORTHEAST AT 50 MPH.
* OTHER LOCATIONS THE SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WILL BE NEAR INCLUDE...
GRESHAM AND BORING...
TROUTDALE...
HAPPY VALLEY...
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
DOPPLER RADAR HAS INDICATED SOME WEAK ROTATION WITHIN THIS STORM. WHILE NOT IMMEDIATELY LIKELY...A TORNADO MAY STILL DEVELOP. IF A TORNADO IS SPOTTED...ACT QUICKLY AND MOVE TO A PLACE OF SAFETY IN A STURDY STRUCTURE...SUCH AS A BASEMENT OR SMALL INTERIOR ROOM.

Notice that the National Weather Service's usage of all caps can only mean one thing:

PANIC!!!

UPDATE 3:35! Crisis avoided... at least for us! Sucks to be YOU, Hillsboro and Oregon City. Find out why after the jump.

UPDATE 4:55! PANIC AGAIN!!! Find out why after the jump.

UPDATE 5:58! Okay, relax again. Sheesh!

PANIC!!!
  • PANIC!!!

4:55 UPDATE!

PANIC!!!
  • PANIC!!!

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Comments are closed.

Most Commented on Blogtown, PDX

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy