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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 9:56 AM

Before I get into the rest of this roundup of sadness, horror, violence, etc., I ought to get this out of the way. Push aside your dirty curtains. See that thing up in the sky? It's called the sun. Eat some ibuprofen, slurp up some coffee grounds, and GO OUTSIDE. Then, hurry back in, so you can get ready to watch tonight's SuperMoon through the thunderstorm clouds. Okay, fine... so it was really sunny when I started typing this post...

The war in Libya is on. Allied fighter planes are zipping in to enforce a no-fly zone over the country, part of a United Nations-sanctioned intervention. Moammar Qaddafi has raised his middle finger and kept up his assault on the rebels' main stronghold, Benghazi.

Yemen is in lockdown, its capital swarmed by tanks and hundreds of soldiers, a day after snipers on rooftops picked off some four-dozen protesters.

Egypt's "ruling military" is allowing Egyptians to vote on constitutional reforms today. And, unlike every other election in Egypt in several decades, they really and truly believe their votes might actually count this time.

Dangerous amounts of radiation from Japan's slowly melting Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant has begun leaching into nearby crops and farm animals. The plume of radioactivity has hit California, but in trace amounts.

Haiti's only democratically elected president, the ousted Jean-Bertrand Aristide, has ignored the United States and returned from exile. And who was with him? Hollywood's Danny Glover!

Pay attention, perverts: Web porn has a new address! The agency whose job is naming shit on the internet has approved a new, more descriptive domain—.xxx—for the filth you keep promising your pastor you'll stop watching.

Wisconsin's anti-labor law is on hold. A judge is sympathetic to opponents who have attacked the process used to approve the law despite a Democratic holdout. Not that it matters much. One of those Democrats says he won't leave the state again if the bill gets put up for another vote, meaning it'd still pass.

OH, TONIGHT! The Portland Trail Blazers are hosting the surprisingly together Philadelphia 76ers, revivified after a lousy start and fucking with opponents' playoff positioning hopes all over the country. Ezra's still at the SXSW bacchanal, so Tony Perez is your live-blogger tonight, starting around 7.

Let's hope the Blazers don't lay one of these... ribbit!


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