In this week's "I, Anonymous" entitled "Spiritual Dog Shit Unity," the writer seems to take umbrage with people putting doggy doo in his/her trashcan.
I saw you put your dog's bag of shit into my garbage can in front of my house. How NICE that you have no boundaries and enjoy sharing your dog's smelly, messy bag with others. I can see by your REI sportswear that you're a fitness buff, but can't bear to carry that HEAVY load back to your own house. If you'd also leave me your address, I'll gladly bring over bags of reeking, disgusting garbage since we're all one garbage dump in this gestalt world of yours. Next time I'll take your picture so other neighbors can help fill your cans with refuse we JUST can't seem to carry home. Thank you for opening me up to your all-shit-removal- is-one universe. You've made garbage yet another area we can link arms and sing "Kumbaya" under the rainbow of spiritual dog shit unity. -Anonymous
We're gotten a few angry emails already regarding this person's opinion, such as this choice bit:
Are you fucking kidding me? Would you rather that steaming pile of stinky doo be left on your lawn? Garbage cans are for... what's that word? hmmm... just had it a minute ago... oh yeah - GARBAGE. Portland is a dog-friendly town my anal friend. Nobody likes to walk their dog with a fresh'n'sweaty bag of doggy deuce!
Hmmm... I think this calls for a scientifically exact and legally binding Blogtown poll! (Feel free to discuss the finer points of this issue in the comments below.)
UPDATE! The earlier poll was fucked up for some reason, so I've replaced it. FEEL FREE TO RE-VOTE!
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!